Very odd set of empotions going on at the moment
Ex turned up to collect the girls tonight and me being head up my arse over my own upset did not interact with him that much ( this is not unusual) I shut the door and he was knocking for ages, I just thought I couldn't face him
When I answered he he just stood there looking a broken man and told me that his brother had killed himself yesterday
I was obviously very shocked. I wanted to give him a hug but didnt and am ashamed that as a human being I did not do this, i have not had any phsyical contact with him for 4 years so I froze.
He told me as obviously he was going to tell the girls, I offered him to come in so we could tell them together but he declined, I offered to drive him up to his parents in the north east but he said he was ok to drive
I can not begin to imagine what he is going through and even though I don't like my ex and there is no love lost between me and any of his family, as another human being to another I want to help him
He told me he was going to tell the girls the truth that it was suicide, I was shocked but obviously can't challenge him on this , he needs to do what he needs to do
He will have his own support network but don't know if I should offer to go to the funeral for the girls' sake really.
The girls seemed ok when I rang them tonight but really have no experience of suicide and not sure how to answer their questions other than honestly. I am worried that they may have nightmares about this
Thankfully the girls were not very close to their Uncle and saw him only once or twice a year. This is also not their 1st experience of death but suicide is such an unknown
I want to try to help my ex but acknowledge that it is not really my place to do so. If I send a card to his parents is it the wrong thing to do
I know that in these circumstances there is nothing that can make the situation any worse than it isfor them
Its all very odd and I feel so very sad for his whole family
He is an atheist so , as I have said on FB, any anti prayers all to be sent into the ether to offer him some comfort