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Author Topic: Newly seperated from partner, not kids dad  (Read 1318 times)

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Offline xx30xx

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Newly seperated from partner, not kids dad
« on: February 26, 2018, 09:02:22 PM »
I’ve had a lot of ups and downs in my life, the father of my children was abusive, lying and controlling. He made my life absolute hell. I have 3 amazing children by him, i was left pregnant with my third alone with a 3 and 2 year old. This was a few years ago, he has no contact with us now.
Eventually after we split I went out on a date with someone that i known since my teens. We hadn’t seen each other in years. He judged me quite a lot for having the kids, initially saying that he could never be in a relationship with me because of them. After about 6 months he finally decided he wanted to give it a go. Looking back I accepted anything that he said because I didn’t think that I deserved anything better.
We have been in a relationship now for nearly 4yrs, we live separately and there has been virtually zero progressuon in the relationship. he has a very strong bond with my youngest, my little boy.
Things have never been normal or easy between us, he lives his life and we sort of fit in where and when it suits. He doesn’t really help or support me in many ways. He doesn’t treat me like a woman, i do everything in the household and for the children.
In the past few weels or so we have spilit up, I’ dont want to stand in the way of him having some kind of relationship with the children, i feel like i cant have another man walk out of their lives.
I feel like a failure as a parent, two relationships that haven’t gone to plan.
I feel alone, hurt and let down.  I dont think that I’ll ever find someone that truly love me. Can’t talk to anyone about this, no body really knows we have even split up because I’m too embarrassed to tell people that I’ve failed again.
Just need to talk about this to someone

Offline westernpathfinder

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Re: Newly seperated from partner, not kids dad
« Reply #1 on: April 07, 2018, 01:21:59 PM »
Hi there.  Firstly you should never think that you have failed because you haven't.  I can relate to some of what you talk about in your post because of similarities in my life.  I too feel alone, hurt and let down but you have to tell yourself that you are a decent person and you deserve to be happy but you don't need someone else to be happy.  I also didn't want to tell anyone although I'm not exactly sure why, but I have talked to people, some who I know and some that I don't and it does help.  As does writing down your thoughts and feelings sometimes everyday.  You mustn't think you are alone as there are lots of people who will listen and offer advice.

Take care.


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