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Author Topic: An introduction  (Read 1893 times)

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Offline Pinkpoppy

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An introduction
« on: June 13, 2017, 11:43:53 AM »
Hi folks,
I'm new here and wanted to introduce myself rather than just lurking. I'm 42 and have 3 children 4,5 and 7yrs. I asked my husband to leave after 7 years of marriage and about 2-3yrs of unhappiness. He stopped having any interest in communicating with me, stopped helping with the house or the kids and became very good at twisting situations so I was to blame. I now think he has many narcissistic traits I didn't recognise at the time. Although he left (finally) two months ago, in many ways I feel a lot worse than I did straight after he left. Most days (and nights) I wake feeling an awful emptiness in the pit of my stomach and cannot imagine ever feeling happy again. I would love to stay married but my head reminds me what an abusive and damaging relationship it was, I know nothing would change. I have forced myself to post on here because I'm feeling particularly hermit-like at the moment which I know is not a good thing. In other relationships pre children I would have stopped any contact with an ex but obviously now due to the children this cannot happen so frequent contact keeps opening the wounds.

Please tell me happy stories of dealing with a breakup with this kind of man (a narcissist) and give me hope that I'll feel happy and attractive again.

Leanne xx

Offline WT4

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Re: An introduction
« Reply #1 on: June 15, 2017, 11:33:47 AM »
Hello Pinkpoppy

Let me suggest that the first step is to understand that it is not the man you miss, rather it is the termination of a complex collection of hopes & dreams that is causing you to grieve.

There will be times you feel immense anger ... these too will pass and you will find yourself feeling nothing towards your ex.  Complete indifference.

Hang in there.
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