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Author Topic: I wish he would tell me what he wants  (Read 2823 times)

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Offline Jen_Mum

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I wish he would tell me what he wants
« on: July 13, 2016, 05:17:56 PM »
Hi everybody,

Sorry need to have a rant. My little one will be 4 in September and she has only seen her dad a handful of times in her life on and off, my mother supervises him when he has contact he is as sweet as pie to her but bad mouths me on facebook (as it was the only way he could contact me) any way i had enough and said if he wants contact talk to my mother and blocked him. and it was ok until she sent him a msg a week in advance saying we are not able to come  next time as we were packing (for weekend at Nanny's and Zoo) he hit the roof the normal lines " i am using my child as a weapon" etc but if he cancels he has the right. anyway he wasn't nice to my mother so she stopped replying to him then he thinks i am with someone (which is news to me) and is going to take me to court and get my daughter taken off me (ain't the first time he has made that threat) it has been quiet for 3-4 months now. He then saw me today  and sent my mum a msg saying How am I (not his daughter) and that i looked terrible (charming) and he needs to talk to me about our daughter so can i unblock him??  Why does he keep coming back and destructing mine and my daughters lives as he claims i am unfair when i have done everything for him to have contact with his daughter multiply times and and as soon as i ask him to do anything that is a little bit taxing or unfair (in his eyes) he throws a wobblier. i.e i asked him to pay £3.50 every fortnight so he could see his daughter at a play center just while it was winter (as she catches chest infections easily) then when the weather turns nice it will be in the park. He wasn't happy about it at all he doesn't have the money (he works full time) and can afford to spoil his fiancee with presents and takeaways.

Ok End of Rant sorry Feel better any advice would be appreciated 

Offline Ms_wormwood

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Re: I wish he would tell me what he wants
« Reply #1 on: July 14, 2016, 11:26:06 AM »
Could you not find another contact solution. via email for example?
Onwards and upwards.

Offline monkeys mom

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Re: I wish he would tell me what he wants
« Reply #2 on: July 14, 2016, 01:11:18 PM »
Unfortunately this sounds like standard behaviour for many when trying to get a routine of contact established - jealously (that you're seeing someone) and trying to still be in control are part of parcel of co-parenting sometimes.

Although it's hard I found the best thing was to only reply to the actual issue eg meet at park and not be sucked in by the rest of the message eg how you look, who you are seeing etc. Short, to the point, respond to key question but then switch off.

If he really wants a relationship with your daughter he will eventually take your lead and just message about whatever the real question is.

Good luck - and keep posting! this place is great to rant and get it off your chest!]
MM x
Sometimes when you give up on someone, its not because you don't care but because you realise that they don't.

Offline Jen_Mum

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Re: I wish he would tell me what he wants
« Reply #3 on: July 14, 2016, 08:32:53 PM »
Thanks for that. MM

 

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