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Author Topic: Do you ever get jealous of seeing 'normal' families ?  (Read 5609 times)

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Offline Rach+lovelylia

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Do you ever get jealous of seeing 'normal' families ?
« on: June 04, 2016, 07:19:55 PM »
Not sure if it's just me but it's always just me and my daughter. Her dad left me during my pregnancy( 11 years ago now) and it's just getting worse every year. Every time I see your standard happy normal family it feels like it's being rubbed in my face. Holidays and parents evenings are the worst. You'd think after so many years I'd be more used to it ?

Offline Foggy

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Re: Do you ever get jealous of seeing 'normal' families ?
« Reply #1 on: June 04, 2016, 08:04:13 PM »
I am three years down the line and have just got back from a holiday, shared with my brother, his wife and kids. They have a lad the same age as mine, so it works for the kids. But I hate being the "spare wheel" to my brothers happy family, as well as seeing all the other "normal" (?) families on holiday !

So ... it's not just you.

Offline Blue Sky

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Re: Do you ever get jealous of seeing 'normal' families ?
« Reply #2 on: June 04, 2016, 08:59:50 PM »
I hate parents evening and all things school related for the same reason.   ::)

To be fair though, spending time around smug marrieds, generally shows that they are not all living the dream.  A supermarket shop usually shows a few frayed edges when you hear the way couples behave and makes me realise that being single is not so bad.

I referred to myself and my daughter as a family at work the other day, and someone questioned it.  Cheek.  I pointed out that of course we are a family, just a smaller one!
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Offline CB2

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Re: Do you ever get jealous of seeing 'normal' families ?
« Reply #3 on: June 05, 2016, 07:17:28 PM »
I have never seen parents evening as a problem, there are lots of either just mum or just dad there for more reasons than they are single...... work, siblings or just can't be bothered.

Holidays, we only do SWK and families often look at us and wish they could be part of it.  Having taken my son on my own before we discovered SWK, I didn't enjoy being on my own, he would make friends and I was left sitting and now we both make friends and have a great time.

Maybe I have be single for so long, I just don't notice  :-\
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Offline Ms_wormwood

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Re: Do you ever get jealous of seeing 'normal' families ?
« Reply #4 on: June 05, 2016, 08:04:53 PM »
Sometimes, but mostly only when they complain about how hard they have it, because one works late sometimes and how are they meant to cope with their kid for three hours twice a week or something. Then I think they don't know how good they've got it and get jealous. But then I also think how sad it is that they don't see the good side of just being one parent and the kid(s), for the relationship.
SWK holidays are perfect for not being the gooseberry in the room (mixed metaphor, but you get my drift). And many a 'traditional' family kid joins in the single family kid fun, and 'traditional' parents wonder why we are having so much fun.
Onwards and upwards.

Offline WT4

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Re: Do you ever get jealous of seeing 'normal' families ?
« Reply #5 on: June 05, 2016, 08:34:14 PM »
Jealous? No, not at all.

I see them, I've been where they are .. they have my sympathy, maybe a little empathy too.
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Offline Happimamma

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Re: Do you ever get jealous of seeing 'normal' families ?
« Reply #6 on: June 06, 2016, 12:54:37 AM »
I have never been jealous since a summers day eight years ago when my daughter was about one.  Her father left us when she was 4 weeks old and week-ends always made me sad and envious of families. One Friday evening I was walking up the road pushing the buggy and dreading the weekend once again, noticing couples in love and happy families everywhere then along comes a neighbour with her boyfriend and one year old. She smiled and they all said Hi - She told me that they were off to the Pizza restaurant as that was their ritual on a Friday evening - family meal. They seemed so relaxed and as we parted ways actual tears were running down my face.  Why me! etc...

Later that evening there was a  knock at the door and it was she, the neighbour in tears. She apologised for caling as we didn't know each other very well but she could not stand the hell she was living through in what she described as an abusive relationship.  As we drank  coffee she also spoke about several of the other Mums at mum & toddlers (where I knew her from) and what hell they were going through in their marriages.  That evening really bought it home to me how everyone puts on a happy front but how many are truly happy?

Offline oldbag

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Re: Do you ever get jealous of seeing 'normal' families ?
« Reply #7 on: June 10, 2016, 04:24:18 PM »
When I was in the process of splitting up with my ex, I remember finding it really hard when I was taking my son to the park and saw Mummies and daddies pushing their similar aged children thinking that will never be me. However 8 years on, I am just relieved it isnt me, we see what people want to show us,not what goes on behind the closed doors and often those we are looking at may be looking right back feeling envious!   There is no such thing as a 'normal' family.. or person, what is normal?  ::)
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Offline lucy82

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Re: Do you ever get jealous of seeing 'normal' families ?
« Reply #8 on: September 20, 2016, 08:52:23 AM »
All the ruddy time! my husband and sons father died 4 years ago... and it hurts so much when I see daddies having fun with their kids its a cruel world x

Offline monkeys mom

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Re: Do you ever get jealous of seeing 'normal' families ?
« Reply #9 on: October 12, 2016, 05:05:10 PM »
I'm so sorry to hear about your husband Lucy - of all the ways to become a single parent I think bereavement is the hardest. When a relationship has broken down its perhaps easier to accept being single as preferable to being in a bad relationship or your kids seeing /hearing negative things between their parents.

However your son is here because of your relationship and is part of your husband that lives on.

My son has never known his father (he left us when he was 2 months old) and although the circumstances are very different I too used to feel so sorry for my son when I saw other dads with their boys. But my son has a great relationship with his grandad and uncle, we do lots of activities together and the SWK holidays really helped as he got chance to be with other dads and also see that lots of other children were in a similar situation.

It is indeed a cruel world but each day we have is a blessing x
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Offline Suz70

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Re: Do you ever get jealous of seeing 'normal' families ?
« Reply #10 on: October 24, 2016, 08:52:05 PM »
I find the holidays and weekends hard too seeing other families enjoying themselves as a group and always just me and my 2 kids. It's so hard to go places when it's always just us. I miss having adult company to make our outings complete.

Offline Suiky

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Re: Do you ever get jealous of seeing 'normal' families ?
« Reply #11 on: November 07, 2017, 07:01:15 PM »
I can not say I envy. I think that I want a full family. I miss those times when there were three of us. It was easier. This was correct.

 

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