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Author Topic: Child contact  (Read 4513 times)

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Offline IRISH EYES

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Child contact
« on: January 08, 2016, 01:02:59 PM »
Hi,

My son is 14 and according to my ex, he is not allowed to choose when he goes to see his dad! 

My ex let's us know what weekend dates he is able to see/have the children.  Now my son is growing up and has lots of friends where we live and what's to do his own thing sometimes. 

I am being accused of 'stopping' my ex of seeing the children and wants me to make my son go! 

Ex lives 2 hours away and my 18 year old is able to decide when she wants to see him.  This is a recent thing and although my son has gone on his own in the past to see his dad and has been quite happy to do so.  He now wants to be able to choose. 

It's causing upset in the family as my ex is threatening me with court if I don't make him go (laughable I know!!) but he has said this to my son.

For goodness sake.....................how do you deal with this type of person????

Offline CB2

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Re: Child contact
« Reply #1 on: January 08, 2016, 11:20:12 PM »
It is really hard, but your son is of an age when he can chose what he wants to do and if his dad persists then he will lose him for good.

I have had this with my son when he was 13 he stopped wanting to go round when told to, he wanted the choice; his dad was unhappy with this and for a time they stopped seeing each other.

Eventually, his dad agreed that he would be more flexible and understanding, so gradually they got back together.  Silly thing in all this, he still goes to his dads every Monday but knows he doesn't have to so it works; he also goes occasionally to watch football with him and they go on cinema dates. 

He dad still doesn't like it but knows he has no choice.......... he moans to me but hey at least my son is happy.

Recently they went to California for 2 weeks, they have never spent so much time in each others company; they came back having had a a great holiday and more respect for each other.
Life is what you make it.

Offline monkeys mom

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Re: Child contact
« Reply #2 on: January 08, 2016, 11:32:24 PM »
It's awful when things get to this stage.  I've no experience of this and glad cb2 is able to give some hope that things will settle

On the court side, whilst this is probably an empty threat your son is old enough that his view would be listened to and as you aren't actually stopping any contact it would be a waste of time and money.
Sometimes when you give up on someone, its not because you don't care but because you realise that they don't.

Offline IRISH EYES

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Re: Child contact
« Reply #3 on: January 09, 2016, 10:05:28 PM »
Thank you for your replies.
My son decided not to go this weekend and my 18 year old said she didn't want to either because of all the threats of court from my ex. I'm proud of them in a way for sticking up for themselves. Thanks for your support. :)

Offline CB2

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Re: Child contact
« Reply #4 on: January 09, 2016, 10:38:00 PM »
Good Luck, it will work its self out.  It is easier when they have a voice, you need to be strong and support your children.
Life is what you make it.

Offline WT4

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Re: Child contact
« Reply #5 on: January 12, 2016, 11:19:29 AM »
Yes, the threat is almost certainly just that, a threat.

At 14 children are quite capable of managing their own diary.
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Offline monkeys mom

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Re: Child contact
« Reply #6 on: January 14, 2016, 08:42:22 PM »
Hope things settle down,  maybe dad will start to view things from his children's perspective.
Sometimes when you give up on someone, its not because you don't care but because you realise that they don't.

 

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