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Author Topic: Only a single parent can help  (Read 3221 times)

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Offline Thriller81

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Only a single parent can help
« on: October 09, 2015, 05:44:53 PM »
I have been a single parent since my daughter was 2.  She is now 12 and since her father who was abusive and also not wanting to be a dad Ive been in one other relationship that was also emotionally abusive.  We seperated 4 years ago.

I have finally met a man who is not abusive, controlling, jealous who is loving, compassionate and happy for me to do my own things and also has a great relationship with my daughter.  We will of been together for 3 years in February.

My predicament I need some advice on is this.  We have discussed and have been trying for a child together. He does not have any children of his own.  His previous relationship he went for tests and was old his sperm was lazy.  So we tried for a year and no luck so I got fertility tests taken to see if I was ovulating and it turns out I am.  So we think that it is definatley him with the fertility problems.  However he hasnt made any effort to go to GP and get tested.

I feel after so many abusive relationships I have finally broke my cycle and im with a great guy who i can see myself growing old with.  But this may come at a price of not being a mum again.  When I spoke to a friend who has just become a new mum (a single one at that) she just didnt seem to understand how I was willing to give up on becoming a mum again by choosing love with my partner.

I am lucky enough already to be a mum, and now I see my daughter up and about making her own life and before I know it going off to uni etc.  Ive also struggled for many years being on my own with my daughter and yes it is very rewarding but also extremley hard and very very lonely.

Should I choose love over becoming a mum? Or will i regret it.

Offline WT4

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Re: Only a single parent can help
« Reply #1 on: October 09, 2015, 10:43:45 PM »
If you've a mind to, you will regret any choice you did not make.

I can't tell you what to do, but I can tell you that if you need to ask out loud you are not yet ready to make the decision.

Hope you find the calm you need to evaluate your options.
Two things we give our children: roots & wings

Offline Thriller81

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Re: Only a single parent can help
« Reply #2 on: October 10, 2015, 12:49:46 PM »
Hi thanks for your reply,

Im just really wanting to see if there is anyone out there who has been in the same boat.

Offline Silky

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Re: Only a single parent can help
« Reply #3 on: October 14, 2015, 04:53:07 PM »
What a predicament.... It's sad that having now found someone to love, you're faced with this choice and I really have no idea what I'd do. I suspect I'd probably stay with him as the alternative is not definite but it's easier to say that when not involved.

How old are you Thriller?

Silky x
A positive mental attitude may not solve all your problems but it will annoy enough people to make it worth the effort"

Offline LAK

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Re: Only a single parent can help
« Reply #4 on: October 15, 2015, 10:49:24 AM »
My friend's boyfriend was adamant that he didn't ever want children and my friend really did so she thought long and hard and decided that the relationship was worth it.  They got married and he changed his mind.  They've got 3 kids now and he's the best dad that I've ever come across.

As Silky says there are no guarantees that you would meet someone else and have more children anyway so my vote is for you to stay with him.  If you didn't already have a child I'd be more on the fence though.
Not all those who wander are lost

 

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