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Author Topic: Help! feeling lost!  (Read 2770 times)

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Offline Viksee

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Help! feeling lost!
« on: April 27, 2015, 01:27:42 PM »
Hi all, I'm new to this forum. My husband announced on mothers day that he was leaving. His reasons did not make sense but I've since found out he has someone else. I considered him to be my soul mate, I trusted him with my life. I'm trying to carry on but I'm so lost. When I look back over the past year....The signs were there. Friends have been great, but I can't and don't expect people to drop everything and change their lives just because mine has changed. Terrified of starting again at 43!

Offline Foggy

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Re: Help! feeling lost!
« Reply #1 on: April 27, 2015, 04:54:03 PM »
Hi Viksee. It is so much harder ( I think) when it hits you out of the blue --- this is what my ex did 2 years ago. Couldn't / wouldn't explain or discuss it and it turned out that she already had my replacement waiting. I had sole care of my (then) 6 year old so it was a case of keeping it together for his sake.

Life seemed pretty bleak at first, as it will with you, and the LAST thing you want to hear is that time will ease the pain --- but it does. I assume you have little people to care for and that must be your priority -- they have also lost a loved one.

Concentrate on the kid(s) and everything WILL start to fall into place. Tackle problems one at a time, otherwise you will feel overwhelmed .... you'll get there x

Offline Ms_wormwood

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Re: Help! feeling lost!
« Reply #2 on: April 27, 2015, 08:37:55 PM »
If things are getting really bad consider counseling. I had grief councilling at RELATE with the same woman who was our marriage counsellor. That helped me, but it takes time, don't try to rush it and look after yourself and your kids first.
Do you have a tent? The camps are a great way to meet other single parents.
Onwards and upwards.

Offline brightstar

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Re: Help! feeling lost!
« Reply #3 on: April 28, 2015, 09:58:19 PM »
Sending hugs. X

Offline Viksee

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Re: Help! feeling lost!
« Reply #4 on: May 02, 2015, 09:06:09 AM »
Thank you all. I have an 11 year old (going on 45!) Son. I split up with his dad when he was a baby. We've remained friends and he's always been there for our son. He has 2 further children now and a lovely fiancee. My husband has been in my son's life since he was 3. He's been really hurt by this, but also very mature. We are extremely close. I've told him my husband left me, not him and that he still loves my son, but so far my son doesn't want to see him. I don't have a tent...maybe a worthwhile investment. I'm considering one of the breaks to give us something to look forward to. I'm also going to arrange to see a counsellor through my workplace.

This is so hard...I really thought we would grow old together and I miss him. I know everyone says time will heal...but I would love a fast forward button! Xxx

Offline Foggy

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Re: Help! feeling lost!
« Reply #5 on: May 02, 2015, 10:41:51 AM »
Yes, a fast forward button would have it's uses  :)  Having said that, these last two years with my son has allowed us to build a better relationship I think --- he looks after me as much as I look after him, and so it will be with your son.  After my ex left, me and he had the usual teary times and I said to him "Now it is Team Us"  and he said, "We are Team We Love Each Other".

Those moments make it all worthwhile.

 

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