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Author Topic: Internet Dating/hook up sites  (Read 6343 times)

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Offline lovethecoast

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Internet Dating/hook up sites
« on: October 05, 2014, 10:07:55 AM »
What a sad state of affairs that nobody talks to each other in real life any more.

As for hook up sites.....just so very sad.

Is it just me...?


Offline Foggy

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Re: Internet Dating/hook up sites
« Reply #1 on: October 05, 2014, 12:43:52 PM »
Never looked at hookup sites, so can't comment on those (not my thing at all). I find internet dating sites horrible and totally unnatural. And, yes, I have looked at a few of those!  For a start they are largely populated by scammers (Nigeria seems to figure highly) and the genuine posters get accepted or rejected on the strength of a few iffy pictures and an even iffier profile.

There are people I really like in real life that I know I wouldn't give a passing glance at on a dating site, as I like and appreciate the personality and traits that simply do not show on the internet and, I guess, the other side of that coin are the ones that come over great on the internet, yet are real prawns in real life  ( I think I might fall into that category !!!! ).

Offline Ms_wormwood

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Re: Internet Dating/hook up sites
« Reply #2 on: October 05, 2014, 05:37:46 PM »
Plus you can never tell if they have bad breath on the internet. I fell foul of a couple of those... But then I also met a couple of nice guys.... One really nice, but he did a runner.... Maybe I have bad breath?
I use a dating site because between working 42 hour week and being a full time parent I barely have enough time to sleep, let alone socialise. I wouldn't date anyone from work (awkward) and none of M's friends have a single dad, not that I would date around her anyway.
Onwards and upwards.

Offline Foggy

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Re: Internet Dating/hook up sites
« Reply #3 on: October 05, 2014, 06:08:07 PM »
Between being a full time parent and full time work I have no time at all to socialise or date  :'(

I imagine some of the mums at school are single, but, without tee shirts stating the fact I know not which ones !

I am resigned to being a single pringle for a few years more and, by then, I might have given up on the dating idea altogether!

Offline WT4

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Re: Internet Dating/hook up sites
« Reply #4 on: October 06, 2014, 11:24:47 AM »
Don't even think about dating at the school gate ... that road is a nightmare.  Worse than dating a co-worker ... believe me.

Love the T-Shirt idea ... pays to advertise an' all that.
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Offline oldbag

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Re: Internet Dating/hook up sites
« Reply #5 on: October 12, 2014, 03:09:01 PM »
I think that for people who have limited time and do not have a group to hang out with  or go out with  to enable meeting of other people internet sites are fabulous..  Yeah there are some horrible people on them, but then there are in the world in general, it is to sieve through them and find that someone. If it doesn't suit some then that's fine too, but really I don't think anyone should be criticised for the way they choose  to meet people.  I met my partner on line and had many many dates with suitable on paper but unsuitable in person people.. it was exhausting, and if I hadn't been ready I would have given in and I do think that is the key to meeting anyone on line or in person.
I'd rather be hated for who I am, than loved for who I'm not!!!!

Offline trinity

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Re: Internet Dating/hook up sites
« Reply #6 on: October 13, 2014, 10:38:59 PM »
I've been navigating my way through the minefield that is internet dating for nearly a year now.  In fact I even started a forum thread on the subject a while back asking for advice!  Since last November I've tried three different dating websites, with varying degrees of success, and have been on a fair number of dates.  I'm sorry to say that I remain single (maybe I'm too fussy!), but I have met some really nice men along the way (as well as some not-so-nice ones). 

Despite the fact that I haven't met Mr Right yet, I have found it an enriching experience.  I have been on dates with men I never normally would have met in my daily life, I've gained confidence, and on the whole I have been fortunate enough to discover that the men I've chosen to meet up with are very similar in person to how they come across in their profiles.  Only one nasty surprise, but I suppose that's not bad going in the scheme of things...

I've learnt lots of lessons on my 'journey' and have even contemplated writing a book about my experiences of dating in my forties.  My anecdotes certainly keep my friends amused anyway.  I think the secret is not to take it too seriously, not to be too prescriptive about what you're looking for and not to take rejection to heart.... easier said than done, I know. 

It can be demoralising and emotionally draining if you're not ready for it, and I think it's vital not to start dating until you're well and truly over your ex.  I waited two years and even that was probably a bit soon. In my case, internet dating is probably the best way to meet a future partner as I simply don't meet eligible single men in my daily life.  Even though I haven't yet met someone I'd consider boyfriend material, I am an eternal optimist.  He's out there somewhere!


Offline Foggy

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Re: Internet Dating/hook up sites
« Reply #7 on: October 14, 2014, 07:20:23 AM »
t I have met some really nice men along the way (as well as some not-so-nice ones). 

Well, I can say with some confidence that none of them are me !  I have only been on one internet date, which was somewhat akin to a lead balloon taking flight !  Women, I feel, get pursued and us guys have to pursue --- I am just not a pursuer, more a "bump into you 12 times in Tesco and THEN we are on "smiling terms" "  type :-)

Think I will stay in the monastery :-)

Offline debs2702

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Re: Internet Dating/hook up sites
« Reply #8 on: October 15, 2014, 12:27:11 AM »
I've been navigating my way through the minefield that is internet dating for nearly a year now.  In fact I even started a forum thread on the subject a while back asking for advice.

C'mon Trinity spill lol  ;D


I've learnt lots of lessons on my 'journey' and have even contemplated writing a book about my experiences of dating in my forties.  My anecdotes certainly keep my friends amused anyway.  I think the secret is not to take it too seriously

Want a co-writer? Could be a best seller lol

I used to feel the same but 20 months ago met someone on Match whom I see a future with and have fallen in love with.  ;D.  Have faith
Had to kiss a few frogs and toads first though lol   
If life deals you lemons, make lemonade!!

Offline Foggy

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Re: Internet Dating/hook up sites
« Reply #9 on: October 15, 2014, 07:19:34 AM »
Had to kiss a few frogs and toads first though lol   


Ribbitt ...ribbitt .........  <<hops off>>

Offline debs2702

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Re: Internet Dating/hook up sites
« Reply #10 on: October 16, 2014, 12:39:57 PM »
LOL   that made me laugh. 



 ;D
If life deals you lemons, make lemonade!!

Offline Ms_wormwood

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Re: Internet Dating/hook up sites
« Reply #11 on: October 17, 2014, 07:55:36 AM »
The guy that disappeared on me months ago, has just reappeared. I'm a little shocked by that. Probably not the sort of guy I want to be with though.... dropping out is WAY too much like my ex.
 
Onwards and upwards.

Offline WT4

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Re: Internet Dating/hook up sites
« Reply #12 on: October 18, 2014, 05:33:19 AM »
Probably?  Almost certainly Ms W

That stuff is beyond weird ... it's nasty .. self-centred bordering on narcissism.
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Offline scatily

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Re: Internet Dating/hook up sites
« Reply #13 on: October 18, 2014, 09:14:02 AM »
I'm 5 years into a relationship now which started for me on the SWK dating site (he was on a sister site, professional dating or something - couldn't have been less true of me at the time unless I'd been on benefits plus he wasn't single with a kid so this still makes us laugh)!

Trinity talks much sense, you absolutely have to be ready, happy in yourself and not 'needing' someone or something. I personally liked to email, then talk on the phone and then meet, didn't hurry. I know some see this as time wasting or building up false hope. However for me it was all part of the sorting process and worked well. I only had one straight up 'get me out of here' date where at 32 I considered climbing out the toilet window! One guy lied to me about his name until about date 3, that was the end of that, found it very creepy. One I actually quite liked turned out to be exactly the sort of t***er I usually pick in 'real' life so can't blame the Internet for that - it's the classic 'bad lad' lover in me

Offline scatily

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Re: Internet Dating/hook up sites
« Reply #14 on: October 18, 2014, 09:16:39 AM »
It cut the end of my post off! Here it is!

My partner now? Out of all of them and more he was the one I 'felt' for even at email stage, by the 'get me out of here' date mentioned above I was already chatting on the phone to my partner and all wanted to do was get home to call him. Funnily enough he had a date with another lady the next day in London (we didn't know this about each other at the time) which he always says was 'fine' but it was me he wanted to meet. We did meet the next week and that was that other than a couple of months at the end of the first year together when he had a wobble about being a step parent. I threw up every barrier and told him to do one! We sorted it, all is good.

It is possible to meet online, it's not all desperate and sad, but like all dating it is hard work and shouldn't be rushed into, especially not on the rebound. Incidentally I was also 'real life' dating back then too, met another t***er who I'd actually quite taken to and one guy who I think I possibly was falling for and equally I think him for me. Age and distance ended that though, I was 32, he was 23. I know, I know but I'm forever being told I don't look my age (younger), he looked older and lied adding a year and before we knew it we were talking about 'us' in the future. He was still training with the RAF as a pilot, wanted a career and marriage and babies when he was 30 ish (yes had it all planned), that put me at almost 40 potentially having a baby or two

Offline annie10

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Re: Internet Dating/hook up sites
« Reply #15 on: November 21, 2014, 09:08:17 AM »
Hi,

I really do think firstly there is a difference between hook up sites and ones that are for people looking seriously and genuinely. I hear there are website just for casual encounters so in fact people who are looking just for that will seek them out. There are other sites for people who want to change their lives by meeting someone for a serious relationship.

If someone decides they want to be in a relationship or even want to marry in the future and there is no one in their social circle then it makes complete sense. How many people meet someone in real life and then find after dating them for a while that their values don't match or their future vision isn't the same. That is time wasting. In real life people also make things up. If you meet online you get to know the person before you waste time meeting. A short, quick meeting once you find someone who has potential to suss them out and then go on to the next until you find someone suitable.

If you don't plan in life and take action then want you want can elude you forever waiting for happenstance. Match maker sites were borne out of a need becuase not everyone is lucky enough to meet someone suitable through uni, work or everyday life.

A
« Last Edit: November 21, 2014, 11:38:20 AM by Silky »

 

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