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Author Topic: 4 years on  (Read 4797 times)

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Offline carolea

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4 years on
« on: August 08, 2014, 12:00:38 AM »
Hi everyone. Its been a while since I posted but thought I'd share my story.
Me and the ex broke up when he left me after 14 years together. My son was 7.
Now, almost 4 years later, Iv since had a relationship with a lovely guy 12 years younger than me :-) which I broke off as I felt like his mum.
My point to this is, my ex, the one who left me devastated and broken is now one of my closest friends.
To think of all the hate I had for him years ago and how we get on so well now is amazing.
We initially didn't speak for 2 years but gradually we started being civil for our sons sake and eventually got close as friends. He has had a few relationships since he left me and I really don't have a problem with it.
We are going to Spain in 2 weeks as a "family" but with no romantic connection at all.
In fact I don't know what I ever saw in him tbh.
But as friends we get on better than we ever did in a relationship with each other.
I never thought it was possible to have a complete turn around in feelings for someone who hurt me so much but I have to say its the nicest feeling in the world knowing our son can see we care for each other and no longer at war.

Offline Foggy

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Re: 4 years on
« Reply #1 on: August 08, 2014, 07:55:30 AM »
That is an excellent outcome from a horrible situation and I am really pleased for you and for your son.

I hope (maybe) that, one day, I might also be in your shoes ( my ex ran off with her boyfriend 18 months ago, leaving me and our 7 year old son) .  So far I haven't been able to even contemplate another relationship --- but I am not overly bothered by that.

Onward and upward, as they say  :)

Offline WT4

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Re: 4 years on
« Reply #2 on: August 08, 2014, 02:49:32 PM »
But as friends we get on better than we ever did in a relationship with each other.

What a great read ... thanks for posting.
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Offline Cushion Plumper

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Re: 4 years on
« Reply #3 on: August 09, 2014, 02:00:34 PM »
Absolutely brilliant.  Time is a great healer, and I do believe that people tend to break up because they no longer want to have sex with each other, but they still have other things in common - just not the sex!

I too, now get on with my ex to some extent and we can communicate fine.  He gets married next weekend for the second time since we split up and I've sent him an email wishing him and his new wife the very best of luck (she's gonna need it, lol) and our son has flown over to Australia for the wedding to be best man.

Great to read your positive outcome - just sorry your toy boy didn't work out  for you  :(
It doesn't matter where you go in life, what you do or how much you have; it's who you have beside you...

Offline carolea

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Re: 4 years on
« Reply #4 on: August 09, 2014, 11:36:46 PM »
I think your right about the sex thing. The attraction is definitely gone. And once that's gone, it never comes back.
We are so much closer now and I think its because the intimacy has gone.
I sit back now and watch him date other women and I a really feel sorry for them because I know how difficult he is in a relationship.
He has asked me to try again but although Iv forgiven him, I will never forget how he made me feel, so I will never get back with him
Its taken years to get over it but worth the outcome x

Offline Mand

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Re: 4 years on
« Reply #5 on: August 12, 2014, 08:50:29 PM »
Hi Carolea

It great to hear your doing so well. Im rarely on the forum now but had to reply to you post.

I remember you from day 1, the devastation you felt and the sadness and despair you shared and how you just couldnt see a happy future,

So glad things are good for you, a true inspiration for others that are now where you were a few yesrs ago.

wishing you well for the future x


Offline mumtoattitude

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Re: 4 years on
« Reply #6 on: September 04, 2014, 10:40:37 AM »
I remember you from the beginning, and I remember crying reading your posts.  You were just so desolate.  I am so glad that you have now reached this point.  Well done and I am glad you are happy. 

Offline Silky

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Re: 4 years on
« Reply #7 on: September 05, 2014, 01:05:32 PM »
Carolea I always love your updates, I remember who completely distraught you were at the beginning and how you simply couldn't believe it would ever get better.... 

How I love to say  WE TOLD YOU SO!!!!

Well done on changing your life, and well done on reaching a stage where you're both amicable - unfortunately the latter isn't always possible in many cases.

Thanks for posting :-)

Silky x
A positive mental attitude may not solve all your problems but it will annoy enough people to make it worth the effort"

Offline Ms_wormwood

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Re: 4 years on
« Reply #8 on: September 06, 2014, 09:07:19 AM »
Such an inspiration to us all.
X
Onwards and upwards.

 

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