My first impression is that (as usual) the Mail is making this sound more extreme than it is. The conclusion seems to be that they are mostly well behaved polite kids who don't really eat ice cream for breakfast everyday and keep telling mum to f off as the article will firstly have you believe.
Much of what this woman has done, I have also done (though not all by any means). After 3 weeks of no sleep, i co-slept with M and fed on demand. If a health visitor started on about feeding at set times and alternating sides, I smiled, nodded and followed my instincts. I researched areas of concern myself and did what felt right. I did baby led weaning. From 6 months, M ate fruit and veg in shapes he could pick up followed by everything from mash to sandwiches or pasta in tomato and veg sauce all with his fingers. Messy and great fun
He was bf until 3.5 and vegetarian until 4.5. He eats pretty much anything now including a whole range of meat, fruit and veg. Our approach to food is flexible and if he asked for ice cream for breakfast as a one off, I would agree while suggesting he added some fruit! On the other hand, if there is leftover curry and he wants that for breakfast, thats also fine
Mostly he has a mixture of cereals with milk though!
We never had a naughty step and only made limited use of star charts - more as a reminder than a discipline tool. I used to give him choices when possible (still do I guess) all of which I was happy with
I think lots of tantrums come from frustration. I never wanted to control him but did and do want him to learn how to behave, to be polite, to treat others with kindness. I try not to say no without good reason (although occasionally my mum slips out - 'because I said so!') I wouldn't make him wear a coat or jumper if he said he wasn't cold. He knows when he is cold! What I would do is say 'are you sure, its really chilly today' and then take one just in case if he didn't want to wear one. I have witnessed major fall outs and tears at school between parents who insist a child wears a jumper before they can play. To me its not worth it. I have always tried to pick my battles.
These days (he is 7), I do tend to resort to threatening to withdraw his kindle fire if other reasoning does not get his attention. Parenting styles evolve as they (and you) grow and change. You have to keep them safe, can't buy everything they want and sometimes you have to be somewhere at a set time or leave somewhere when they don't want to. These things are really non negotiable and if asking or telling don't work sometimes bribing or threatening are necessary even if they don't fit with your parenting ideals. Same goes with doing homework and limiting screen time particularly on school nights and we never have tv before school, it was a rule we made (after reading about Steiner schools) and is rarely questioned. I do think children need boundaries. You can't always just leave it up to them to choose what's best for them, you are the adult and you have to guide them -by example as much as with words.