A nun walks into Mother Superior's office and plunks down into a chair.
She lets out a sigh heavy with frustration.
'What troubles you, Sister?' asked the Mother Superior .. 'I
thought this was the day you spent with your family.'
'It was,' sighed the Sister. 'And I went to play golf with my
brother. We try to play golf as often as we can. You know I
was quite a talented golfer before I devoted my life to Christ.'
'I seem to recall that,' the Mother Superior agreed. 'So I take
it your day of recreation was not relaxing?'
Far from it,' snorted the Sister. 'In fact, I even took the
Lord's name in vain today!'
'Goodness, Sister!' gasped the Mother Superior, astonished. 'You
must tell me all about it!'
'Well, we were on the fifth tee...and this hole is a monster,
Mother Superior - 540 yard Par 5, with a nasty dog leg left and
a hidden green....and I hit the drive of my life. I creamed it.
The sweetest swing I ever made.
And it's flying straight and true, right along the line I
wanted...and it hits a bird in mid-flight !'
'Oh my!' commiserated the Mother. 'How unfortunate! But surely
that didn't make you blaspheme, Sister!'
'No, that wasn't it,' admitted Sister. 'While I was still trying
to fathom what had happened, this squirrel runs out of the woods,
grabs my ball and runs off down the fairway!'
'Oh, that would have made me blaspheme!' sympathized the Mother.
'But I didn't, Mother!' sobbed the Sister. 'And I was so proud
of myself! And while I was pondering whether this was a sign from
God, this hawk swoops out of the sky and grabs the squirrel and flies
off, with my ball still clutched in his paws!'
'So that's when you cursed,' said the Mother with a knowing
smile.' Nope, that wasn't it either,' cried the Sister, anguished,
'because as the hawk started to fly out of sight, the squirrel
started struggling, and the hawk dropped him right there on the
green, and the ball popped out of his paws and rolled to about 18
inches from the cup!'
Mother Superior sat back in her chair, folded her arms across
her chest, fixed the Sister with a baleful stare and said…...
'You missed the f#ckin' putt, didn't you?