Seamus & Bessie...
An Irish farmer named Seamus had an accident with a lorry and was
sueing the lorry company.
In court their hot-shot solicitor was questioning Seamus..
'Now didn't you say to the Police at the scene of the accident, 'I'm
'Well , I'll tell you what happened. I had just loaded my favorite cow
Bessie into the...'
'I didn't ask for any details , just answer the question.
Did you not tell the police officer at the scene of the accident, "I'm
fine !" ?'
'Well, I had just got Bessie into the sidecar and I was driving down
The solicitor interrupted again and said,
'Your Honour , I am trying to establish the fact that , at the scene
of the accident this man told the police that he was fine. Now several weeks after the
accident he is trying to sue my client. I believe he is a fraud. Please tell
him to simply answer the question.'
By this time, the Judge was fairly interested in Seamus's answer and
said to the solicitor:
'I'd like to hear what he has to say about his favourite cow Bessie'.
Seamus thanked the Judge and proceeded.
'Well as I was saying , I had just loaded Bessie , my favourite cow ,
into the sidecar and was driving her down the road when this huge
lorry and trailer came through a stop sign and hit me right in the side. I was thrown into
one ditch and Bessie was thrown into the other. I was hurt very bad like and didn't want to
However , I could hear old Bessie moaning and groaning.
I knew she was in terrible pain just by her groans.
Shortly after the accident a policeman on a motorbike turned up.
He could hear Bessie moaning and groaning so he went over to her.
After he looked at her and saw her condition , he took out his gun and
shot her between the eyes.
Then the policeman came charging across the road , gun still in hand ,
looked me up and down , and said
'How badly are you hurt?'
'Now what the F**k would you have said'?