Having lost my dad and recently, my brother. I can understand.....as has already been said,mthere are good and bad days. Generally the bad days get fewer though. I do believe the grieving process is paramount and if you feel you did not grieve properly then this will continue longer. I know my brother really suffered years after my dads death, ib comparison to his 3 sisters. Mis this a man thing maybe?
Also, as already been touched on by Peter, you had some serious health and personal issues ate the time. Mimalso know you are a little worried at the moment over your health. Could it be that your parents were your support mechanism during our illness and your missing that support mechanism now? Hi lighting your grief?
Hugs to you mate