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Author Topic: Teenagers and housework!!  (Read 5524 times)

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Offline IRISH EYES

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Teenagers and housework!!
« on: June 12, 2012, 07:02:22 PM »
Hi, Does anyone have any suggestions on how to get a teenage girl (14) to help with chores around the house!

Is it a lost cause?

I don't want her to be Cinderella, I'm just asking her to pick the rubbish up that's on her bedroom floor (she has a bin, but it doesn't seem to get in there!) Her clothes: the rule is if they are not in the basket they don't get washed. If her clothes are all over her bedroom it's her choice, but rubbish and dust and un hoovered bedrooms are a no no for me.

If i ask her to do anything she says no, then i get mad and try to explain that i'm not prepared to do everything (i know, i can hear myself sounding like a teenager!) but would just like a bit of help.

Should i make a small list of things that both my children could do on a weekly basis. My son (11) is quite happy to help (but i get a twinge of attitude at times and can feel anxiety building that he will have the same attitude as my daughter soon enough).

They used to have little jobs when they were younger, when they were happy to do it.  ie. making sure there is enough soap in the bathrooms, enough toilet paper in the bathrooms, emptying their bins in their rooms.

Do you just no bother asking and do it all yourself? Or what do your kids do to help?

Any suggestions greatly received...!! 





Offline jodieh12

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Re: Teenagers and housework!!
« Reply #1 on: June 12, 2012, 07:50:16 PM »
Housework is mainly linked to money in our house so things definitely get done!

Jo

Offline littlemissfun

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Re: Teenagers and housework!!
« Reply #2 on: June 12, 2012, 08:03:28 PM »
It is also linked in our house, no jobs no pocket money!
Generally works!!
Sharon
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Offline SallyL

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Re: Teenagers and housework!!
« Reply #3 on: June 12, 2012, 08:49:30 PM »
I have the same problem with my 11yr old son as you do you daughter...   If you find a good motivation please let me know.  I have tried everything from reasoning, to payment via pocket money to me having the screaming hab dabs (teenager style).

Probably does not help that I am not the tidiest of people myself   ::) :o
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Offline IRISH EYES

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Re: Teenagers and housework!!
« Reply #4 on: June 12, 2012, 11:07:15 PM »
Thanks for your replies everyone.

Unfortunately, I can't link it to pocket money because I don't give them any. Due to the fact that their father gives them pocket money and too much (in my opinion!). My daughter gets £40 per month and my son gets £20.

I don't agree with paying them to help around the house when they get that much pocket money for not doing anything!!


and thankyou SallyL.. i too suffer with the screaming hab dabs!!

Offline Silky

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Re: Teenagers and housework!!
« Reply #5 on: June 13, 2012, 12:17:05 AM »
I've one daughter who, when in the right mood, will happily clean, Hoover or iron (although tidying her bedroom takes much more persuasion). Her sister, on the other hand, has always been much less industrious and will always seek a way out of tasks.

I don't know the answer but I've recently started scheduling in time with absolutely no electronics or other distractions and eventually they do come round to housework, especially if they realise it's going to be an entertainment free zone until its all finished.

No doubt this method will be as short lived in its success as others but I'm milking it for all its worth at the moment ;)

Silky x
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Offline SallyL

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Re: Teenagers and housework!!
« Reply #6 on: June 13, 2012, 12:20:59 AM »
going to try that Silky.    Might let him choose an album to put on whilst we tidy.   :D

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Offline Lind

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Re: Teenagers and housework!!
« Reply #7 on: June 13, 2012, 12:22:34 AM »
What works for us is giving my 14 year old daughter jobs to do that are hers alone. For example it's her job to empty the dish washing machine (except the half week she is at her Dad's) and her job to sort out the recycling once a week. She puts her own washed/dryed clothes away. If washing ends up on her bedroom floor I leave it (unless I'm looking for whites etc) and I don't stress about how often that means her floor gets vacuumed. It isn't much but doing it this way seems to work and makes her more agreeable to doing the odd extra job if asked. I always say thanks after she does something so she knows I appreciate her help (except on nights I very occaisionally have to remind her umpteen times to empty the machine!)

Offline WT4

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Re: Teenagers and housework!!
« Reply #8 on: June 13, 2012, 01:20:37 AM »
whilst we tidy.   

That's just wrong.  There is no we in tidy ... unless you have a rigidly enforced "everything in its place" policy ... and then the situation/need just doesn't arise.
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Offline lostandfound

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Re: Teenagers and housework!!
« Reply #9 on: June 13, 2012, 08:40:30 AM »
Both the Ks help out around the house They have to keep rooms clean if not i go in with big bags and go through all there stuff and draws and they dont like that washing has to be brought to the kitchen or it doesnt get done They both can work the washing machine and dryer
If they dont do jobs they lose things TV phones anything that they like to do really     
on another planet or so I'm told

Offline Dad Of One

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Re: Teenagers and housework!!
« Reply #10 on: June 13, 2012, 10:35:53 AM »


I do the chores = pocket money thing!


I find it works wonders, so does confiscating the ipod/wii controllers/phone (I pay the bill)  ;)



OP what about phone credit? iTunes account credit (note: never divulge the password, excellent leverage and  persuasion can be gained)  ;D


I've just been into my lads lounge/playroom and had a fit, dirty cup & plate, crisp bags, sweet wrappers and dirty socks on sofa!!  ::)  They are still there - The TV and cable remotes aren't  ;)
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Offline SallyL

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Re: Teenagers and housework!!
« Reply #11 on: June 13, 2012, 08:02:26 PM »
Quote from: SallyL on Today at 12:20:59 AM
whilst we tidy.   

That's just wrong.  There is no we in tidy ... unless you have a rigidly enforced "everything in its place" policy ... and then the situation/need just doesn't arise

Nothing wrong with expecting an 11 yr old to help tidy his mess up.   I am not suggesting that he has to do anything more than put back most of what he gets out and he does not do it alone.
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Offline WT4

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Re: Teenagers and housework!!
« Reply #12 on: June 13, 2012, 09:04:50 PM »
Right, his own mess of his own things is his affair and it's his job to tidy it.

Having someone else tidy up your own stuff is a nightmare.
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Offline Jomichelle

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Re: Teenagers and housework!!
« Reply #13 on: August 10, 2012, 11:22:44 PM »
I don't give my kids pocket money for chores. My daughter and son are the same ages as yours. They have to keep her room tidy, sometimes clean up the kitchen for me, sometimes the bathroom depending what needs doing. However, it was not always that easy as when we first start this they both kicked up a fuss. So we negotiated on some things and made a list together. Tidying their rooms was non-negotiable, but we all ended up with certain jobs to do on a sunday at a set time. It seemed to work this way as they knew they had to do it, we'd put some music on loud and get on with it.

Offline SarahJane

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Re: Teenagers and housework!!
« Reply #14 on: May 24, 2013, 07:29:58 PM »
Currently sat here watching my 15yr DD hoover lol taken me a long time to get to this point, its a case of nag nag nag

Offline Margaret86

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Re: Teenagers and housework!!
« Reply #15 on: September 27, 2013, 05:41:58 PM »
I'll be honest, I've succumbed to bribery with my daughter in the past...
She just refused to do anything...
I had a lovely pearl bracelet that I don't wear that often anymore, and DD was completely obsessed with it...
So I told her that if she would help more around the house, she would get it...
Worked like a charm  ;D
« Last Edit: October 04, 2013, 01:31:18 AM by Silky »
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Offline LCSS

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Re: Teenagers and housework!!
« Reply #16 on: September 29, 2013, 10:17:41 PM »
I haven't found a way to get things permanently tidy, but when things are too messy and I get the hump, they do it.
Also, I don't flinch at letting stereotypes get in the way.  For example, my son is hopeless at tidying but is up for mowing the lawn, whilst my daughter is happy to pick flowers, do a bit of gardening and tidy up the house ! All sounds a bit Famous Five, but whatever works without a fuss works for me  ;) That said, my son does like cooking and my daughter is not into that yet!
I deal with the washing, the shopping and the DIY and the childminder does the ironing and the hoovering. 
The kids don't get pocket money but can get money for doing chores, entirely at my discretion, based on whether I had to nag, how much time and effort they put in and the result  :)
It kind of works for us...

Offline oldbag

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Re: Teenagers and housework!!
« Reply #17 on: May 29, 2016, 08:40:54 PM »
One old post but so relevant to me at the moment.

I am naturally not a particular tidy person, but eventually lose the plot and can't cope with it, I lose my keys and tele remote most days. Luke does too

I have tried 'the fly lady' and various other stuff.. not so good, I just would rather be gardening in the summer and doing art stuff in the winter.. always soo pointless cleaning as it gets messy again haaaa.. however.. I do see the necessity of making Luke share and learn, he tidies his room ( usually by hiding all his stuff in the cupboard) and will hoover etc when asked.. the reg jobs he has are taking bins out and emptying the dish washer.. However how can i insist he tidies room if mine is messy.. hmmm on the other hand  i have had a couple of operations recently and he has been amazing..
I'd rather be hated for who I am, than loved for who I'm not!!!!

 

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