Today is a very hard day for me as it is every year. My facebook friends will have seen a post I put on yesterday when I needed to acknowledge this day coming and remember someone very special to me. The hugs and thoughtful words, even from those who have only met me once or twice brought a lump to my throat and I do appreciate them thank you so much.
16 years ago today my first husband, and my first (maybe only) real love, committed suicide. He was found hanging in our local park early in the morning of Sept 1st, but was last seen in the pub nearby at 9pm on Aug 31st and I just know it was not long after this he died. I think I prefer to think that he wasnt wandering around for hours suffering and that it was over quickly for him. So this is the day I remember him. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=j3_85GXsKqk&feature=player_embedded
I hope this link works. It says it all and makes me cry whenever I hear it. Ok so the song is about a 17 yr old but apart from that it fits. I so wish I could go back in time and change everything. I know he must have been suffering from depression but he hid it so well. No-one knew. He was the life and soul of every party and well loved. He'd give the shirt off his back if he thought someone needed it. Although I 'moved on', and have since been re-married, had 2 more wonderful children, and seperated, I have never forgotten him and will always love him.
My 3 eldest children have had to grow up not knowing their amazing dad. The eldest were only 2 and 3 when he died and I discovered I was expecting Josh about 2 wks after the funeral so he never even met him.
Mitch, I miss you and will always have a place in my heart reserved just for you. I hope you are looking down on your wonderful children and are as proud of them as I am. I love you and hope you have found peace xxx