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Offline The Naughtiest Girl

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Some positive words
« on: July 19, 2008, 01:28:55 PM »
HI to you all

I have just been for a run along the canal in the sunshine and have been contemplating a lot of things, the good things in my life and the struggles and was thinking about all the horrendous stories that a lot of SWK members seem to have been through and I am gobsmacked that we have all had such harrowing times and we do it all on our own ( well now we all have each other on here) but I just thought WHY? Are we just unlucky?

When I had my worst year ever last year it was ruddy awful, every month and at one point every week something awful happened.I was given 2 hours to live in ICU, had to end a relationship that I didn't want to, friend very ill with meningitis, having a breakdown, nearly losing custody of the girls, my wonderful wonderful inspirational grandad dying ( I am crying as I say that as he was the only constant in my life apart from the girls and the only person I know who loved me unconditionally, apart from my girls) and so much more. It is only HALF of what you guys go through and I am amazed that people like Joanne find the strength.

I was having reiki and hypnotherapy at the time and the woman said that we only have that which we can cope with thrown at us in this life.At the time I could see the point but just wanted to ask God to give me a break in between all the ruddy challenges!

Anyway my point is that I really really do believe in karma and balance and that I genuinely believe that most of us on here are due a very very big piece of good luck, we have to be. Lottery wins all round

On a more realistic note, 2007 was my crisis year and 2008 seems to be a much better one, for many reasons but mainly due to all you guys and i just wanted to offer some words of hope to those of you who are really struggling at the moment.I can now wake up and go for a run and enjoy the views and the little things like poignant quotes in books, the colour of flowers, the sound of rain. I know it may all seem a little mundane but I am enjoying 2008 so much and I really really hope that those of you in crisis believe that there is light at the end of the tunnel.it is sometimes a massive struggle getting through the tunnel, drawing on all your reserves but day by day I got stronger last year

I still don't think life is fair and that we shouldn't have all these huge problems on top of being SWK but I got a card recently that said

" Life isn't always the party that we planned

But we may as well enjoy the dance"


I agree
Rach
xx

ps I know i am VERY lucky to be able to have the " me" time at all in which to contemplate, if there is anyone nearby that doesn't get any respite who needs a break, if I can help out I will, just shout
Courage is looking fear right in the eye and saying " Excuse me, get the hell out of my way, I have things to do "

Offline Silky

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Re: Some positive words
« Reply #1 on: July 19, 2008, 01:39:45 PM »
Hi Rach,
I totally agree. An ex MD of mine had a severely handicapped child and his life outside work was extremely difficult in caring for her and her needs. We used to wonder at his constantly cheerful attitude and he basically said the same as you - God chooses the families carefully to which he blesses such a child, he needs to make sure they get the love and attention they need.

The stories on here never cease to humble me (yours included) and it speaks volumes that everyone keeps going through their own personal dilemmas and keeps the interests of their children at the forefront of their existence. It makes my blood boil to see the constant jibes in the press at single parents, the journalists behind these really do have no idea what traumas and adversity some face.

One lady coming on one of our trips is blind and her young son has recently been diagnosed with cerebral palsy. This lady is taking 4 trains to get to one of our trips so her boy can have a holiday - a feat I can only wonder at.

I can't wait for the day when the term "single parent" actually becomes a term people are proud to use, a term that means strength of character, determination and an ability to cope that many would be in awe of.

Silky x
A positive mental attitude may not solve all your problems but it will annoy enough people to make it worth the effort"

karenb

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Re: Some positive words
« Reply #2 on: July 19, 2008, 01:48:14 PM »
Thanks for that post Rach loved the quote. i must admit sometimes my life hasn't been easy but one thing its not been boring either and now I just think enjoy whatever gets given you and have fun on the way.

I can't understand why I was a bit down yesterday My life is great really a beautiful baby, 2 daughters I love and who love me, a home I love, a well paid interesting job, and the love of one of the nicest men anyone could wish to meet, and have made friends on swk with some of the funniest most supportive people anywhere who are there for me and each other any time of day.


love karenxxx

Offline The Naughtiest Girl

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Re: Some positive words
« Reply #3 on: July 19, 2008, 01:54:02 PM »
You are very lucky with brian* Karen but you deserve it without a doubt, you have had a terrible time and I am glad you are happy now.

Rach
x
*does he have any brothers ( or cousins!!)
Courage is looking fear right in the eye and saying " Excuse me, get the hell out of my way, I have things to do "

karenb

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Re: Some positive words
« Reply #4 on: July 19, 2008, 02:02:07 PM »
Yes he has a brother and just hundreds of cousins (or seems like hundreds) we will have to introduce you sometime

Karen xx

Offline C99

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Re: Some positive words
« Reply #5 on: July 19, 2008, 02:04:48 PM »
Yes.... but..... aren't all his cousins women????
Your mileage may vary...

karenb

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Re: Some positive words
« Reply #6 on: July 19, 2008, 02:13:49 PM »
Just love the lyrics of Angels



I sit and wait
does an angel contemplate my fate
and do they know
the places where we go
when we´re grey and old
´cos I´ve been told
that salvation lets their wings unfold
so when I’m lying in my bed
thoughts running through my head
and I feel that love is dead
I’m loving angels instead

and through it all she offers me protection
a lot of love and affection
whether I’m right or wrong
and down the waterfall
wherever it may take me
I know that life wont break me
when I come to call she wont forsake me
I’m loving angels instead

when I’m feeling weak
and my pain walks down a one way street
I look above
and I know ill always be blessed with love
and as the feeling grows
she breathes flesh to my bones
and when love is dead
I’m loving angels instead

and through it all she offers me protection
a lot of love and affection
whether I’m right or wrong
and down the waterfall
wherever it may take me
I know that life wont break me
when I come to call she wont forsake me
I’m loving angels instead

karenb

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Re: Some positive words
« Reply #7 on: July 19, 2008, 02:31:47 PM »
Yes.... but..... aren't all his cousins women????

well most are women but i believe there are some male members of the family

karen

Offline C99

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Re: Some positive words
« Reply #8 on: July 19, 2008, 03:22:47 PM »
Enough to go round??
Your mileage may vary...

Offline SM2

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Re: Some positive words
« Reply #9 on: July 19, 2008, 04:29:02 PM »
I've always believed that the day you are born, your life is already mapped out for you.

The shite that comes our way, just proves for most that we are strong enough to get through it and keep coming out smiling the other end, its the weak ones that are unfortunately unable to do this.

There are many paths to take in life, its up you as an individual to take the right one.

Everyone has their strengths and weaknesses in life but its our health that matters the most.

We may feel, from time to time, that as single parents we have been dealt the wrong pack of cards but we have so much over 'happily married couples' as we are able to have a life with no one to pressure us, to tell us what to do, having to clean up after them (bad enough with the kids lol), making sure they are happy and comfortable before your own needs & go on these fantastic trips away now, the list is endless. 

I just want to take my hat off to each and every one on this site and say well done to you all, you are all fantastic people and keep up the good work xxxx

mcgiffen

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Re: Some positive words
« Reply #10 on: July 19, 2008, 05:07:42 PM »
That was really well written Rach and all was so true, so I guess when we feel down this should be one of the brilliant articles to read so we can see just how lucky we truly are.

We are also fortunate to have brought someone in this world and I am sure that nearly everyone will agree that is the best thing that could ever happen to anyone ever!!!! Even when they are a little bit on the naughty side.  ;)

mcgiffen

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Re: Some positive words
« Reply #11 on: July 19, 2008, 05:16:57 PM »
I do have a brother, 5 years older than me, he does part time modelling, well built and all the girls really love him. Unfortunately he is gay, so sorry girls but than again he does say that alot of girls keep saying that could turn him straight.

x x

Offline Silver Lining

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Re: Some positive words
« Reply #12 on: July 19, 2008, 07:31:34 PM »
I've just read this post and it has hit a spot very deep inside me.  I too have been told that God never sends you more than you can cope with.  Having been seriously ill for 4 years and now the ghastly situation I find myself in with an acrimonious divorce and trying to hold it togerther for my children, I have often thought that this really is too much.

The truth is, I do believe in angels and sometimes they come in human form......
thank you all for being there and Rach, you are an inspiration.

Carol xx
There's nothing to fear but fear itself.

sapphire

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Re: Some positive words
« Reply #13 on: July 19, 2008, 07:43:35 PM »
.

Offline Silver Lining

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Re: Some positive words
« Reply #14 on: July 19, 2008, 11:30:42 PM »
Sapphire

I can really sympathise with you.  I'm facing the reality of selling our house, which is the only one the children have ever known.  House prices seem to be falling by the day.  It really isn't a good time to have to sell.  Like you, I am going to have to face whatever comes next, but we are all survivors on SWK.

I look at the posts every day and can't imagine how I coped before I found this site.

Sending you lots and lots and lots of love.  Stay strong - I'm trying to!

Carol
xx
There's nothing to fear but fear itself.

Offline Mikka

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Re: Some positive words
« Reply #15 on: July 19, 2008, 11:38:38 PM »
I enjoy coming on here and reading but I often don't have the strength to reply.

I have come a long way I suppose and only now after about 8 years of trauma can I say I am at relative peace, I am calm and okay with myself and my situation. I don't feel unhappy or happy but as always I remain positive.

It is interesting reading about Karmar...it has long been said to me that good karmar is on it's way and that when one door closes another one opens....but I have had door after door close in my face and I am prone to wonder if I am receiving bad karmar because I have been bad in a previous life...not the other way around.....I ponder on how bad I must have been!

Not sounding too positive now I guess!

monkeys mom

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Re: Some positive words
« Reply #16 on: July 19, 2008, 11:45:46 PM »
Thanks Rach, heartfelt post.  - I often wallow in guilt that I should be doing things differently, that I never have the time to do more, give more and just be more - and then I get upset on all the things I have done wrong or have gone wrong. Truth is that all that thinking and wallowing just wastes precious time and energy when I should be living for now and the future.

Shutting myself off for the last 4 years has not only changed me but also impacted on my son. Both of us need to just get out there socially and this site has been wonderful in enabling my inner self to come out in the comfort and security of my own home and hopefully leading to getting back into life again.

Once in a rut its so easy to just stick with it, but I can't believe how much strength I feel since last weekend. Instead of concentrating on my failings I am looking at new opportunities for me and Thomas. I am forever humbled by the posts on here. Whatever I think I have had to deal with there are far far more heartwrenching posts of genuine heartache and struggles and I commend each and every person who has shared their journey for they are truly inspirational.

For the first time in years I feel like me - the old me but with a big improvement (a son). Friends at work have commented that I seem happier and I know part of this is that I don't moan anymore - I'm not that person you cross the street to avoid cos you know if you ask how they are they will pour it all out (and then some!) I've stopped worrying about if I am doing it right or wrong but listening to that voice inside and really living.

In fact the only thing I regret right now is not making more of last weekend. I wish i had made more time to talk (really talk) to people. I fully intend that I will never miss that opportunity again. Sometimes thinking about what may happen if often far more scary than the reality and after finally letting down some barriers I realise I won't break and life is actually easier.

OMG - sorry this has turned into an essay but I can't say enough about how last weekend changed things for me. I'm moving house, changing my job and have cut out a lot of deadwood from my life. My mom said today how she feels the old bubbly Lisa is back and I'm so glad that my son gets to see me like this.

Rach - would love to take you up on your offer for help, but rather than babysitting I'd prefer it was helping me to finish a bottle of wine of two (just can't seem to manage the limits I used to) ;)

MM x

Offline Happimamma

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Re: Some positive words
« Reply #17 on: July 20, 2008, 12:28:00 AM »
I enjoy coming on here and reading but I often don't have the strength to reply.

I have come a long way I suppose and only now after about 8 years of trauma can I say I am at relative peace, I am calm and okay with myself and my situation. I don't feel unhappy or happy but as always I remain positive.

It is interesting reading about Karmar...it has long been said to me that good karmar is on it's way and that when one door closes another one opens....but I have had door after door close in my face and I am prone to wonder if I am receiving bad karmar because I have been bad in a previous life...not the other way around.....I ponder on how bad I must have been!

Not sounding too positive now I guess!

Beautiful thoughts Rach, coming from a really clear place and I am sure, a very big help to a lot of people. Thank- you for reminding us where we can get to. I feel so very close to having my life as I want it now with the horrors I went through almost a distant memory.

Mikka (and anyone else who is interested) Re: Karma ~

At the present time the world is apparently going through quicker changes than ever before and there are more opportunities than ever before to evolve and travel higher up the spiritual ladder towards understanding how the world works and becoming masters of our ego /fears and thus, our lives. Some people have a big karmic debt to repay but however big that debt may be, when we are sure that we have tried everything to address our biggest issue /s we can ask the powers that be for divine dispensation to free us from our karmic debt. Meditate or sit very still and find a calm space inside and then ask source / God via the Lords of Karma for Divine Dispensation to release the burden of your Karma.

We can have security in our lives by paying our spiritual debts and building up credit. Rach has just built up some credit with her post because she gave something to others from the heart without any thought of reward. I'm sure that Silky, Sharon J and others here are also gaining some credits. This site is very special and quite possibly being looked after by the angels themselves. (Silky, you are being used by the universe!!)

The universe acts as a mirror, reflecting our thoughts and expectations back to us.  If we think we deserve good luck, it will come but if we hold a belief that we will always have bad luck, that is what we will get.  I believe that we can have whatever we like, we just have to want it, be able to feel the feeling of how we would feel to have it and ask for it. If we keep making the same mistake, the universe will keep on sending similar problems until we take notice, look at what it is we need to look at and change something within ourselves,

For a brilliant book on all the universal laws including the law of karma get Diana Cooper - A little light on the spiritual laws.  It is like a bible to me and has helped me to understand a lot and when I follow the advice, it always works!

Big blessings to you all,

Kendra 

Offline Mikka

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Re: Some positive words
« Reply #18 on: July 20, 2008, 12:38:37 AM »
Thankyou Kendra..I will definately look out for that book.

Offline Hils

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Re: Some positive words
« Reply #19 on: July 20, 2008, 08:35:11 AM »
And in celebration of all this positive thinking the sun has finally come out. Thanks for all the inspirational messages here....today I am going to concentrate on my daughter, the most important person in my life,and smile  :) :) :)

Offline delly

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Re: Some positive words
« Reply #20 on: July 20, 2008, 01:41:39 PM »
Thankyou for this inspiring post.  It is just what i needed to read after waving my girlies off for 2 weeks, time to change my thought patterns round into some positive vibes and dispense the rest of my bad karma..



Sending all of you lots of love, blessings and healing.

xx

Offline Silky

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Re: Some positive words
« Reply #21 on: July 20, 2008, 01:50:11 PM »
Kendra, I'm so pleased I'm not the only one around who believes in karma and the laws of the universe. I was a complete cynic about all of this until my father and sister died in the last few years and some strange events encouraged me to delve and read more. I've got to say what I've read has helped me enormously to understand and indeed appreciate my own situation, and also face challenges with a more enlightened approach, seeing them as some kind of "cosmic test".  I don't necessarily see these challenges as the repayment of a debt from some previous life or situation, but more a step in the process of self improvement, something I have to overcome to become a better person, almost like a task to complete before I get that promotion  :)    

Going back to the beginning of this thread, I really do believe we are "thrown" the challenges that the universe believes we can overcome, we only need to have the self belief that we can face these successfully.

I'd best finish here before I get into full "crank"mode (Ricardo will be banning me soon !!) but it's so comforting to know others share my beliefs.

Silky x

p.s. Mikka and MonkeysMom are two of the warmest, bubbliest people I've met and I really can't belief how little self confidence either of you have. I really do hope you begin to see yourselves just how others see you and I look forward to seeing more of both of you.  :)
A positive mental attitude may not solve all your problems but it will annoy enough people to make it worth the effort"

Offline Silky

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Re: Some positive words
« Reply #22 on: July 20, 2008, 02:06:41 PM »
  ..... like a task to complete before I get that promotion  :)    

Silky x


.....I have got to admit that some days I'm really not interested in that "promotion" and just want to stay in bed and pull the covers over my head !!  ;)   :)

Silky x
A positive mental attitude may not solve all your problems but it will annoy enough people to make it worth the effort"

Offline CB2

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Re: Some positive words
« Reply #23 on: July 20, 2008, 02:27:47 PM »
  ..... like a task to complete before I get that promotion  :)    

Silky x


..... and just want to stay in bed and pull the covers over my head !!  ;)   :)

Silky x

I keep trying that but Calder won't have it, even if it is the holidays. >:(
Life is what you make it.

daisyday

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Re: Some positive words
« Reply #24 on: July 20, 2008, 03:08:21 PM »
I'm far too old fashioned to understand the likes of Karma and now tend to push what has happened in the past totally behind me and not dwell on it too long....otherwise we waste part of our life living in the past and not living life now....I'd like to think that most of us have the power within us to grow stronger from adversity....so that we can appreciate and value life, and also strive to make the most of it....

i take my hat of to those of you that have dealt with the death of loved ones and ill health...losing life is something i still cannot contemplate and i don't intend to think of it or go there until i finally have too....therefore this may change my simplistic views on life and think a bit deeper like Silky

I was fortunate to have a fantastic boss when I was in my 20's (like a second dad) who actually sat me down one day and said that I was capable of doing anything i wanted to do provided I put my mind to it and really wanted it......so that has always been my principal in life.

I'm a single parent but i don;t think I have ever felt sorry for myself...far from it...occasionally I feel guilty....but I also believe that I now have the opportunity to find someone that is right for me & who will also make C happy........whilst C may loose out in some aspects by not having a normal family unit...she benefits in lots of other ways...

Jane

Funny enough I was surprised to see Lisa' s MM post about lacking in confidence....I thought you were really lovely, very bubbly .... a GREAT mum and a catch for some lucky young man  ;)

Offline CB2

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Re: Some positive words
« Reply #25 on: July 20, 2008, 03:21:41 PM »
I don't know much about Karma, but have always believed in what goes around, comes around.  I have always believed in fate and think things happen for a reason.
Life is what you make it.

Offline Silky

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Re: Some positive words
« Reply #26 on: July 20, 2008, 03:29:20 PM »
That's exactly what karma is CB2, "what you reap is what you sow". If you're mean to someone, you can expect similar treatment back (though not necessarily from the same person).  I'd say karma is a basic law of humanity and makes us realise we are accountable for our actions, good or bad. 

Silky x
A positive mental attitude may not solve all your problems but it will annoy enough people to make it worth the effort"

Offline CB2

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Re: Some positive words
« Reply #27 on: July 20, 2008, 05:23:07 PM »
Thanks for that, I know more than I thought I did!
Life is what you make it.

Offline cozg

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Re: Some positive words
« Reply #28 on: July 20, 2008, 06:17:08 PM »
this is a rather deep and meaningful thread to read through, but yet again it has made me realise part of what i get from swk. knowing that we are all out there fighting our fights and dealing with the cards we have been given. reading the awfulness of people's struggles has made me count my blessings and be grateful for what my life has in it instead of feeling sorry for myself. i think we can all have depths of strength we never knew were there and what doesnt kill us makes us stronger. my heart goes out to all those of you dealing with vile exes and crap like needing to sell your houses.when chloe was 2 i had to leave my 4 bedroomed house cos couldnt afford to live there. i cried buckets when i left because i loved that house and it was where my baby had been brought home from the hospital and made our little family. but i bought a cheap, small house on a housing association estate just big enough for the two of us. it is mine and we are happy in it because i chose it. i strongly believe that life is a journey- you can jump on and take the ride and see where it takes you or stay on the platform and let it all disappear into the distance. ( or some such analogy!!) take heart- i am 8 years down the line and have gradually over time found peace in myself.

Offline Flower37

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Re: Some positive words
« Reply #29 on: July 20, 2008, 08:22:32 PM »
What words of wisdom on a day when I really need to hear all your positivity..I haven't been very well this weekend  :( (I need a new womb!) and have been offline as have spent all weekend at a mates hiding under a duvet...!  I am a big believer in fate..what goes around thing and the whole karma notion...I just hope that this is the year that things come good for all the lovely people on SWK..I think I found this web site just at the right time and to be quite honest I don't think I'd have got through the last 3 months if it hadn't been for the friends I have made on here, and just reading other peoples stories has given me a strength I didn't know I had...

So thank you Rach for those words...and everyone who has taken the time and trouble to read/respond to my stuff...you are angels!
xxx

monkeys mom

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Re: Some positive words
« Reply #30 on: July 20, 2008, 08:54:49 PM »
This is a wonderful thread - to all those who are suffering health wise - a speedy recovery xx

Thanks for the warm words too - means more than you know to hear how others perceive me particularly those whose opinion  and friendship I value.

To prove the point of the strength I have found from swk -  I have just spent the day at a neighbours BBQ for her daughter. Full of young married couples and after a few tumble wobbles I went round. normally Thomas is at my side and i must admit I have used him as my own shield as protection for me. This time he ran in and started playing with complete strangers kids. Made my day. So feeling brave I went up to some people I have never met and started chatting. I even joined a large group and chatted with them. We stayed for ages instead of the courteous quick stop I was going to make and Thomas had a ball.

I believe things happen for a reason and the reason is always good even if you can't see it at the time or never see it as we can't always know what would have been the case if that particularly event hadn't happened.

MM x

Offline Flower37

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Re: Some positive words
« Reply #31 on: July 20, 2008, 08:57:48 PM »
Well Done Lisa....when I spoke to you briefly at the Lakes you didn't seem nervous at all!!!!  You seemed bright and bubb;y...and your son is very cute!

Looking forward to a bigger chat when we next meet up - good for you girl...times are a changing for us both!  ;)
xxxx

monkeys mom

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Re: Some positive words
« Reply #32 on: July 20, 2008, 09:03:50 PM »
Thanks Fleur - thats just it though I spoke to people briefly and I really wanted to get to know everyone but apart from on one to ones I kinda hung back. I really wanted to come over to your little group as you were so close to my tent and having so much fun but I just clam up in a group but you're right times are a-changing - I just hope the world is ready for all these inspired women !!  ;D ;D

Offline Flower37

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Re: Some positive words
« Reply #33 on: July 20, 2008, 09:05:28 PM »
Course they are!!!! and you are welcome to join any little group...anytime!  :)
xxx

Offline Juliet

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Re: Some positive words
« Reply #34 on: July 20, 2008, 09:09:00 PM »
I can't wait for the day when the term "single parent" actually becomes a term people are proud to use, a term that means strength of character, determination and an ability to cope that many would be in awe of.
Silky x

The stories, strength and solidarity of the people posting on SWK are incredible.  I can't imagine how I would have got through the past 8 months without knowing that this wonderful 'net of jewels' was here.  Time and again I read the posts and marvel, and think a powerful anthology for single parents could be put together from what I see here.  Anyone got the time and energy to edit one?!

"A clay pot sitting in the sun will always be a clay pot.  It has to go through the white heat of the furnace to become porcelain."


Offline Silky

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Re: Some positive words
« Reply #35 on: July 21, 2008, 08:09:03 PM »
Just read a quote that seems fitting here:

"The real act of discovery consists not in finding new lands but in seeing with new eyes" (Marcel Proust)

I guess it's coming back to pretty much where Rachel started this thread, sometimes if we look at our lives differently and focus on the positives and the opportunities then we see a whole new world.

Silky x
A positive mental attitude may not solve all your problems but it will annoy enough people to make it worth the effort"

Offline CB2

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Re: Some positive words
« Reply #36 on: July 21, 2008, 08:10:40 PM »
I do think that the beauty of having kids is seeing things through their eyes are rediscovering things you had forgotten about.
Life is what you make it.

Offline cozg

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Re: Some positive words
« Reply #37 on: July 21, 2008, 08:14:07 PM »
i agree!  :)

Offline Silky

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Re: Some positive words
« Reply #38 on: July 21, 2008, 08:16:28 PM »
I do think that the beauty of having kids is seeing things through their eyes are rediscovering things you had forgotten about.

Like "Mummy, you've got a lovely soft tummy...."  ?
Hmm   :-\

(love them to bits really!!)
Silky x
A positive mental attitude may not solve all your problems but it will annoy enough people to make it worth the effort"

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Re: Some positive words
« Reply #39 on: July 21, 2008, 08:20:28 PM »
Better than Mummy you have a wobbly tummy!  :-\
Life is what you make it.

 

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