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Author Topic: Bowing Out  (Read 7677 times)

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Offline mumtotwo

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Bowing Out
« on: December 27, 2010, 05:19:38 PM »
Hi,

I have decided to bow out of SWK for a while, I wasn't a big poster so wont be missed, but its just something I need to do.

I hated xmas anyway as that's when my ex left but while we were all happily opening xmas pressies this year my brother-in-law phoned to say my mom had died. My ex, yes the one that I had been moaning about the other day, took over and sorted me and the boys out, he has been really good.

I am leaving for a while though as I just need to sort myself out, everything around me seems to go wrong.That's my mom & brother in the space of a few months.  I only post on here when I need help, I want to be one of the ones telling good stories of how things have turned around for me and how happy I am, but I am not and not sure I ever will be.

I force myself to go to the pub meets and honestly this is not against anyone there but I just don't know what to say. I never quite realised how shy I am but I don't have any interesting or funny stories to tell, I just don't fit in and I never will. I have my boys who I love to bits but they are the only thing keeping me going. I hate everything about my life at the moment but I know there are people out there with much bigger problems than mine and I cannot keep moaning.

Sue

Offline littlemissfun

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Re: Bowing Out
« Reply #1 on: December 27, 2010, 05:31:44 PM »
Hi Sue,

I've never met you but you sound like a lovely person.
Sorry to hear you are a rough time, I don't know what else to say :(
I hope things turn around for you soon, we will all still be on here if you want some moral support.
Thinking of you.
Sharon xxx(()))xx
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Wouldn't it be nice if the world was flat then we could push off people we didn't like!

Offline Silky

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Re: Bowing Out
« Reply #2 on: December 27, 2010, 05:34:24 PM »
Sue I'm so sorry to hear about your mum, it's always awful to lose someone but even more poignant at this time of year. Although I can understand when you need a break, please don't feel you have to withdraw when you need support, that's the reason the forum exists.

Please go easy on yourself, the bad time you've had of late is not down to you and can't go on forever - when things feel they're rock bottom, the only way really is up, even though it seems like an age.

I'll pm you, but in the interim you know where we all are and please don't feel you need to hold back if you need some support.

Big hugs,

Silky x
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Offline sunflora

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Re: Bowing Out
« Reply #3 on: December 27, 2010, 05:34:43 PM »
I am so sorry to hear what you have had to go through!  My thoughts and deepest sympathies go out to you and yours  :'(

You may not have been a big poster but what you did have to saying was always thoughtful and helpful so YES you will be missed.

I have pm'd you, not sure if you can read pm's but it's worth a try.  My number is also there, I am local-ish to you so please do feel free to ring or text me any time!

Andrea {{HUGS}} x
There have been many times this year when I've disturbed you, troubled you, pestered you. irritated you, bugged you or just plainly got on your nerves so today I just wanted to tell you... TOUGH poop! There are no changes scheduled for 2010!!! ENJOY! X

Offline The Naughtiest Girl

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Re: Bowing Out
« Reply #4 on: December 27, 2010, 05:37:42 PM »
Dear Sue
What a terrible thing to happen at Christmas when you have already had a crappy year
I am so sorry for your loss, this is such a tough year for you
I am glad that your ex was such support for you
I am sorry that you feel the need to leave SWK but you need to do what is right for you.
It does sometimes feel that nothing goes right in life for some people and this is all stuff out of your control and so unprectable
You must feel very low and helpless
I hope your ex continues to be supportive and that you have other people around you also
I hope you do come back when  things are right for you. You willbe missed on the pub meets, there is nothing wrong with being quiet ,we are all different
I will text you in a few days, don't want to intrude now
Sending you some strength and love
Rach
xx
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Offline zanywoman

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Re: Bowing Out
« Reply #5 on: December 27, 2010, 05:45:58 PM »
Hi,
((((hugs)))) for you - you're going through such a tough time right now  :(  I'm so sorry to hear about your mum  :'(

Many of the folks on here who post such positive things and are so helpful are where they are because they have got through being where you are, and have had the support and help of others.  This forum is here  to give support to those in need of it.  So dont worry about posting when you need support or a listening ear....we've all been there  ;).  You will get to be in a better place, then can share your experiences with others who need support.....thats how this works isnt it??

Sometimes our ex's can surprise us cant they.  I was so unhappy before my marriage ended 2 yrs ago, mostly because of my ex's treatment of me, but when I went through a tough time earlier this year he was really there for me.   :-\

Good luck hun, but please dont worry about tapping into the support network here if it helpsxx

Tracey xx

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Offline Dora

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Re: Bowing Out
« Reply #6 on: December 27, 2010, 06:10:39 PM »
So sorry to hear about your mum. you have got it all wrong though, you will be missed, you do fit in and you do support - you have supported me for a start. dont go from swk unless you really have to, the support is there for as long as you need. will be in touch properly when i am back online properly x x x
Happiness is like a butterfly: the more you chase it, the more it will elude you, but if you turn your attention to other things, it will come and sit softly on your shoulder…”– Thoreau

Offline Phil

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Re: Bowing Out
« Reply #7 on: December 27, 2010, 06:43:26 PM »
Sorry to hear this Sue, and sorry you feel you have to bow out for a while.  It's at times like this you need friends around you hunni and the boards are a good way to get your feelings out and not keep them bottled up.  Never worry about trying to fit into any situation, just be you, that is the important thing, people accept you for who you are.
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Offline TravellingChick

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Re: Bowing Out
« Reply #8 on: December 27, 2010, 07:11:56 PM »
Hi Sue

I too am desperately sorry to hear about your mum and I can empathise with the feeling that you just want to withdraw into yourself and distance yourself from the world.

Please don't go altogether tho as everyone is right because a) you WILL be missed and b) these are the times when you need an outlet and some support the most.

Please don't feel you have nothing of value to offer to the other forum users nor feel you should not post asking for advice,  support etc. 

By all means,  grieve in your own way but don't cut yourself off from us because you think you have nothing to offer.

My love and thoughts are with you and your boys.
Sarah
xxx

Offline Mand

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Re: Bowing Out
« Reply #9 on: December 27, 2010, 07:16:18 PM »
An awful time for you ...i can understand why you need some time and space, you know where we are if you need us.
 

Offline inferno

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Re: Bowing Out
« Reply #10 on: December 27, 2010, 09:46:08 PM »
Sue i am so sorry to hear about the loss of your mom.  My condolences to you and your family.  You really have had a terrible year this year. 

If you feel you need a break from here for a while then take it and try and deal with this terrible tradgedy in your own way.  But dont rule SWK out forever. 

Hopefully we will see you back again when you feel ready.  Take care and be kind to yourself ok. 

Offline rox

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Re: Bowing Out
« Reply #11 on: December 27, 2010, 09:52:24 PM »
Oh Sue, I am so sorry to hear about your mum...I can't even pretend to imagine how you are feeling. :'(

Give yourself some space and time away from SWK, if that is what you feel you need, but we will always be here for you to offer support or advice.

You are totally wrong however in your beliefs, because you will be missed and you do fit in...I know we've only met 3 times but I found you to be easy to talk to and a really genuine person.

My thoughts and prayers are with you and your boys.

Take care of yourself
K x

Offline helencitauk

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Re: Bowing Out
« Reply #12 on: December 29, 2010, 09:38:28 AM »
Hi Sue,

How awful...... Everyone reacts differently to things like bereavement and you need to do what you need to do.

I think it would be a real shame to leave SWK because you think your presence benefits no one and our problems are worse than yours. That is categorically not true.

Anyway, I'm going to pm you.

Take care,

Helen x
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Offline Summer

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Re: Bowing Out
« Reply #13 on: December 29, 2010, 09:48:53 AM »
This is just like me.  I too always bow out.

But I'm learning life is far easier when we realise others struggle too.  And to share a struggle feels reasuring, rather then going it alone, feeling down and lonely.

Accept what we feel although we don't like it and we think it makes us unsociable and share it anyway.  Keep an open mind and chose to dismiss or embrace another's comments, and continue to share anyway.

You will come out the other side, one day, I have.  Like so many I've read about on here.  I think the journey is much more bearable if we can share it.  But how much we share all depends on where we are with ourselves.  Share when and if you're ready, and if you're not ready, just read and feel reasured everything we feel is relivent no matter what another thinks of what we feel.  It's nice to know we are not alone in our struggles.  Albeit often our struggles are different.  But also often the same.

Thank you all for listening.

Offline Run DM&C

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Re: Bowing Out
« Reply #14 on: December 29, 2010, 08:48:56 PM »
Sue I am really sorry to hear your sad news. It will take time for you to come to terms with this especially with your brother too and if you feel better doing that by stepping back that is ok.

Please don't feel like you can't post though cos it sometimes helps to get feelings out instead of bottling them up

I am so glad your ex was there for you when you needed it and hope he continues to do so

You have my number and a few others so feel free to text if you fancy meeting up for a coffee and a chat. I will let you know when we next meet up then you can decide if it is the right time for you to come along.

Hang in there and things will feel better in time. I know nothing can bring your loved ones back but time is a great healer and you will begin to remember the good times more than the pain.


Hugs to you and the boys (((((((((xxxxx))))))))))
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Offline Summer

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Re: Bowing Out
« Reply #15 on: December 30, 2010, 08:41:27 AM »
Reading this again, I feel my post was insensitive.  I too lost my mum, although it was many years ago now.  I'm sorry for being insensitive to your feelings over bowing out.  I'm also sorry for your loss. 

It's lovelly that there's so many sensitive, understanding people on here, with gentle and encouraging things to say.

 

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