Sorry to be so late responding, but I've been away.
I found Cruse quite helpful for me, and Tim's school fixed him up with a mentor when he was having problems with his behaviour and, although the mentor told me he never talked about Sue, he seemed to enjoy the company of someone other than me.
Several people told me that as a rough "rule of thumb" people grieve for a month for every year they were together. Sue and I were together for 35 years, and it was over two years before I really felt human again - midsummerseve and SWK helped a lot in bringing me out of myself.
Luckily my son was a bit older than your children when his mum died, but the "sturm und drang" of adolescence is quite enough for a teenager without that added burden.
If you need to talk privately I can still read emails, even though I can't respond through this site.