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Author Topic: A strange day  (Read 4243 times)

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Offline Laus

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A strange day
« on: July 01, 2010, 09:30:23 PM »
Hi everyone,

I'm having a bit of a strange day today.  4 years ago I was supposed to get married to the love of my life.  In a nutshell, it didn't happen, we split up, I found out I was pregnant (Amy now 4) and when Amy was 2 my ex dropped dead from sudden death syndrome.  So many people do understand my grief but others have no idea and I feel like I'm not allowed to grieve, yet I miss him every day.  As today could've once been our wedding day, I guess I'm just missing him more.  Fathers day recently too.

Anyone else in the same boat and feel like a widow even though they were split up from their childs parent?

Laura
x

Offline danensis

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Re: A strange day
« Reply #1 on: July 01, 2010, 09:39:18 PM »
My situation was nothing like yours, as I had plenty of warning of my wife's condition (too much I sometimes think), but I do know the pain you feel on those special anniversaries. It takes a long time for things to settle down again, and for life to assume a semblance of normality,

John
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Offline Laus

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Re: A strange day
« Reply #2 on: July 01, 2010, 09:49:32 PM »
Thanks John, yes you're right.  Situations can be very different but feelings can be the same.  His anniversary next month too so lots of thoughts at the moment.  Sorry to hear about your wife.
Laura

Offline MelM

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Re: A strange day
« Reply #3 on: July 01, 2010, 10:13:02 PM »
Hi Laura

I understand where you are coming from I think. My childrens father passed away four years ago. We had been together for 13years and were engaged at one point. My circumstances are a bit different but I know that anniversary feeling. Garry would have been 40 in April and although I was plodding along quite merrily and didnt give it much thought, when the day arrived it hit me quite hard and has taken me a good few weeks to get back on track again. I guess it is still a part of grieving and although the sad times are less frequent we maybe still have to let everything take its course, it sometimes feels like two steps forward and one step back.

I dont know about you, but I dont want to not think about him as he was a huge part of my life and for my sake and the childrens I dont want to not talk about him, but it still hurts and I still think about him every day. I reckon John is right, it takes a long time for things to settle but they will.

Melx

Offline eamesey79

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Re: A strange day
« Reply #4 on: July 14, 2010, 02:44:25 PM »
They say when a relationship ends it is like a bereavement and you go through many of the same stages and then to actually have to go through a bereavement is a double whammy.  You have the right to grieve, to be sad, to feel what ever you like.  I am not suprised you are feeling like this.  Why do people assume just because you split up you somehow stop caring.  I hope you are feeling better.

 

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