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Author Topic: bad day  (Read 5730 times)

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Offline adriennemumto3

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bad day
« on: May 08, 2010, 08:35:17 PM »
thursday started by me slipping and falling down the stairs and ended with my mother and sister (who i havnt seen in nearly a year as they have said im dead to them) coming to tell me that my gran has died and that my sis who is my identical twin has a blood disease which i have all the symptoms of, i just dont know how i feel not sure ive taken it all in and the kids didnt know my gran they hadnt seen her since they were babies so they are just not bothered and i just keep crying i just cant help it

Offline LCSS

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Re: bad day
« Reply #1 on: May 08, 2010, 08:56:51 PM »
Sorry to hear your bad news. But you need to be strong and get yourself to the doctors for a checkup.  You may not have what your twin has, but it's best to be sure.  Perhaps one positive could be a better relationship with your family from now on if you all make an effort.


Offline elliefreya

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Re: bad day
« Reply #2 on: May 08, 2010, 09:55:40 PM »
Sorry to hear you have had such a rotten day, though it does sound as if there are an awful lot of layers to why you are feeling so upsidedown at the moment, so it is no wonder. I would start by doing as Lcss suggests , and check out your own symptoms, and also allow yourself time to grieve for your gran this must have been a double shock, coming fro your family in such circumstances, so please be gentle with yourself.

Without knowing any of the history, I wonder if part of the reason you can't stop crying is in part due to the fact that your mum and sister coming to your house has thrown your views into disarry- after all whatever they said, they cant really see you as 'dead to them," as their actions speak otherwise.

Hope this week is a better one for you . xx

Offline adriennemumto3

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Re: bad day
« Reply #3 on: May 08, 2010, 10:10:58 PM »
my family need to make the effort not me and they did mean it when they said i was dead to them which was done infront of my children. i will not make any effort as there is none for me to make and them turning up hasnt affected me at all its not the first time we have had no contact and ive been told by people who know me and the circumstances that im best keeping them out of my life forever and as it was their choice to cut me of as it was last time they can lay in their bed as my gran use to say. ive just found out my gran is dead and that i may have a blood disease which is why im upset and not sure how im feeling. i have all the symptoms of the blood disease which is often missdiagnosed and usually leads to liver damadge which i have, i was seriously ill for years as it took them 2years to find out what was wrong with me yet my mother couldnt even be bothered to come to my appointments not even when the doc said prepare your will and when i nearly died due to a stomach and lung infection even my neighbour made commented on the fact my family just didnt give a toss, infact they didnt even seem bothered that my gran was dead but i am i miss her and just dont want to believe she is gone cos she was the only member of my whole family who cared about me.

Offline helencitauk

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Re: bad day
« Reply #4 on: May 09, 2010, 09:33:55 AM »
Sounds like you've got lots of negative emotions going round in your head and body at the moment. have you thought of a way of adjusting your thinking so that you can get rid of all this negativity?
What would you do if you knew today was your last day?

Offline adriennemumto3

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Re: bad day
« Reply #5 on: May 09, 2010, 10:59:57 AM »
wasnt aware thinking differently made people come back to life  i wanted some advice on how to cope with the fact my gran had died hence why i put it in the bereavment section not to have strangers tell me im not making the effort with my family this isnt in general advice its in the BEREAVMENT section my gran has just died which is why im upset thinking differently wont change that

Offline danensis

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Re: bad day
« Reply #6 on: May 09, 2010, 02:23:49 PM »
Sometimes these "positive thinking" people just make matters worse. There's not a shred of evidence that positive thinking ever healed anyone. Indeed there is evidence to suggest the added burden of trying to battle against something at the behest of others is just another stressor which you could well do without.

John
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Offline helencitauk

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Re: bad day
« Reply #7 on: May 09, 2010, 04:23:53 PM »
sorry adrienne, I didn't mean to upset you. I was very confused by your post before mine and I got a strong vibe that you were really stressed out. I don't ever post to tell someone what to do - I only ever post out of benevolence and I am sorry that you've lost your gran.

I've lost all of my grandparents but in different circumstances - I guess bereavement is never the same and we all handle it differently anyway, depending on all kinds of factors

What would you do if you knew today was your last day?

Offline Pheonix

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Re: bad day
« Reply #8 on: May 09, 2010, 04:53:29 PM »
Adrienne, sometimes we are better off without certain people in our lives , even if they are family, as they say you can choose your friends but you cant choose your family.

So sorry to hear about your loss

Unfortunately because of your grans death you have had to face your family again at a time when you need supportive people around you not critical. Turn to people that can be there for you.

You said the condition your twin has is hard to detect but at least you can go to the doctor with the knowledge that you may have it and they can do the necessary tests, at least then one way or another you will know if you have the same thing, and obviously early detection will mean early treatment.

Dont worry about crying in front of the children, you need to grieve and as long as your children know why you are crying and you dont try to hide it or pretend you are fine when youre not they will understand

I hope you have someone around in your life you can lean on right now.

Sending you a big hug x

Sally

Offline adriennemumto3

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Re: bad day
« Reply #9 on: May 09, 2010, 08:46:02 PM »
thank you pheonix x

Offline MichealP

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Re: bad day
« Reply #10 on: May 09, 2010, 08:56:54 PM »
If you don't mind me prying, what blood disorder may you have? I have a blood disorder so I might be able to help you, there are lots of support groups for those with blood disorders x

Offline danensis

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Re: bad day
« Reply #11 on: May 09, 2010, 09:21:45 PM »
You should also be able to get counselling before you go for testing - some people don't want to know that they have a higher risk, and it may bugger up your chances of getting insurance once you know (if its serious enough).

John
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