I'm not sure it's appropriate to say "welcome" as this is obviously the last place you thought you'd be, but hopefully you can at least find a few shoulders here if nothing else - I suspect few of us can read your post without a tear.
I can only imagine the pain you're going through at the moment, from the loss of your partner, the complete suddenness, and the feeling of unfairness of it all. Yes, the pain will subside in time but in the meantime don't be afraid of letting your emotions out and having a ruddy good scream or cry as you need to.
I haven't lost a partner and can only offer my heartfelt sympathy on that front, but I did lose my father and sister within a short spell of each other. Like your husband, my sister went very quickly (she died within an hour of being admitted to hospital) and the death left us all totally shocked and in complete disbelief. My father on the other hand declined over 3 months and although we had time to say our goodbyes, his last months were dreadful. At the time I found my father's death easier to prepare for (if "easy" can ever be used in such a case), however years after the event I take more comfort in the fact that my sister went so quickly without the dreadful decline and suffering.
Time does heal. The wounds will always be there (my second sister's cancer is bringing everything to the fore again for me), but in time the memories take over from the feeling of loss /anger/ grief and can in themselves provide a lot of comfort, rather than being a source of pain.
As mentioned above, a lot of people don't know how to approach the topic of death and in fear of upsetting you are likely to avoid the subject completely. This is all well meaning but I personally found it extremely upsetting that my loved ones were inadvertently "excluded" from the conversation. We all deal with grief in our own way, but if you find you do want to talk about your partner to friends, it's worth letting them know that you find it of comfort rather than a source of pain - a good friend will take their lead from you.
Our loved ones still very much remain a part of our family and although they never got to know their grandfather, my children know everything about him and chat about him as if he's still around. Personally my beliefs also changed after bereavement and I found a lot of comfort in that, again it's a very individual thing.
My advice is not to listen to the "shoulds / woulds / coulds" but to follow your own feelings. You'll feel better when you're ready, there is no set clock on this that says you have to stop aching at a certain time. If talking helps, talk - if it doesn't then try and find your solace elsewhere, whatever feels right and helpful for you. Whatever the case, be easy on yourself and patient.
There are a number of people on here who've suffered bereavements of their partners and I'm full of admiration for the way they've all coped through this and supported their children. Please don't be afraid of asking for their help or turning to a charity like www.WinstonsWish.org.uk
which specialises in child bereavement.
Take care of yourself Elaine,