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Author Topic: First Christmas  (Read 6548 times)

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Offline marie

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First Christmas
« on: December 04, 2007, 11:24:48 PM »
This is going to be our first Christmas without my husband and I'm dreading it, in fact I really wish I could just close my eyes and sleep through it. I'm even finding it difficult to get the motivation for Christmas shopping, the very sound of carols makes me fill up with tears. I'm trying to keep a smile on my face for the children but this is just killing me. Does anyone know of anything open at Christmas? I thought if we perhaps went to some kind of event it would serve as a distraction (I'm in the Midlands)

Marie

Offline Silky

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Re: First Christmas
« Reply #1 on: December 05, 2007, 10:22:25 AM »
Hi Marie,
Your post really tugged at my heart strings, the first Christmas / birthday / holiday etc are always the worst - it DOES get better from here and just remember that while you're trying to survive this festive season.

I would imagine a lot of places are closed for Christmas if you were thinking of an actual day trip, there may still be some events at local hotels close to you. There's a service I use called "Any Questions Answered", you simply text 63336 and they answer you within half an hour - it might be worth trying them to see if they can text you details of any events local to you.

Hope it's not as bad as you think,
Silky x
A positive mental attitude may not solve all your problems but it will annoy enough people to make it worth the effort"

Offline marie

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Re: First Christmas
« Reply #2 on: December 05, 2007, 06:00:41 PM »
Thanks. I tried that number and they came back quite quickly but mainly with hotels. I'm not entirely sure I want to sit there amongst other happy families but I'm going to ring around anyway to see what the form is.

Marie

Offline manicmother

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Re: First Christmas
« Reply #3 on: December 05, 2007, 09:12:44 PM »
Hi Marie Just had to say I feel for you, as last Christmas was my first since separating from my husband six months before.  In my case, the separation has been a really positive thing for me and overall I am so much happier, but that didn't change how I felt as Christmas approached last year.   As I don't really even have much family of my own, my son and I went on a single parents' holiday for Christmas week.  I booked it on impulse, and it was expensive!  However, I realise how lucky I was to be able to have been able to do this.  It really helped and although I felt all the same things as you in the run up to Christmas: wanting to sleep through it, and being reduced to tears at the sight of decorations in the shop, the days came and went very quickly and it wasn't nearly as bad as I'd feared!  I think your idea of organising something to serve as a distraction will really help you - I'm afraid I haven't really got any other ideas of child friendly places which would be open - but i really hope you find something.  This year I face a new challenge - my son is spending Christmas with his father - and although at times I feel very strange and sad at the thought - I don't feel like sleeping through it in the way I felt last year! Silky is right, the FIRST of everything is the most difficult, and as time goes on it gets much easier.  Best of luck in finding a distraction - and do remember it's only two days and, in reality they do pass reasonably quickly!

Offline YummyMummy

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Re: First Christmas
« Reply #4 on: December 06, 2007, 12:48:10 PM »
I can recognise this all too Marie, fortunately we'll be spending Christmas amongst some good friends this year so that eases the burden. I can imagine shedding a few tears though once I'm alone in bed.  I think it's got to be a case of just putting our heads down and using sheer determination to get us through this, at least if we expect the worst we'll be prepared.

Which holiday did you go on ManicMother? I haven't seen any covering Christmas itself or I think I'd have been tempted.

YummyMummy

Offline manicmother

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Re: First Christmas
« Reply #5 on: December 06, 2007, 05:52:02 PM »
I went to Lapland with Small Families Yummy Mummy!  It was great - they normally do two options at Xmas a Sunny hol e.g. this year to Morocco which my friend is going to, and Lapland.  It is expensive, and out of reach of many single parent, but I was lucky that In the separation we split an endowment policy and I decided splash out some of my half on something to save my sanity!   Being in the company of good friends will get you through I'm sure!

Offline Silky

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Re: First Christmas
« Reply #6 on: December 06, 2007, 10:09:11 PM »
Hi MM,
You lucky, lucky thing!!  I'd LOVE to go to Lapland but it's so expensive (even moreso with 2 kids) I very nearly considered trying to get my own way there a couple of years ago when I saw some really, really cheap Skandinavian flights advertised, had I been on my own I would have tried it but the thought of trailing 2 young kids around unknown territory put me off. (The flights were something like £20 return including taxes).

Maybe next year.....

Silky x
A positive mental attitude may not solve all your problems but it will annoy enough people to make it worth the effort"

Offline Riverman

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Re: First Christmas
« Reply #7 on: December 07, 2007, 01:53:44 PM »
This is my first xmas too   :o  The way I'm thinking at the moment I'll be glad when it's over!   :D 
Hear me try to croon at: www.myspace.com/shavedbybuddha

Offline Bettybug

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Re: First Christmas
« Reply #8 on: December 09, 2007, 01:17:36 PM »
Well this is my 4th xmas alone, but in the past i've had my ex-boyfriend there for part of the day, but it was never a proper xmas.

This year i am with somebody new, and we have been together nearly 7 months.  This one is different, and I think we both know it.  We are already planning our future, and he makes me happier than anyone has ever done.  But he is going home to Wales to be with his family for xmas.  He is going on the 23rd and returning to see me on Boxing Day.  I am really dreading it, as I find xmas really lonely, even though you have your children there it is really hard when there isn't somebody else you care about to share the joy of seeing your children happy and magical.  I am luckier than most, and my mum is coming to stay xmas eve, as she knows i am taking it badly this year.  We are going to have a lovely time, have a nice xmas eve watching it's a wonderful life, so will probably cry buckets (neither of us have seen it!) and it means i have support on xmas morning, while the kids destroy their carefully wrapped gifts.!!  It is very hard to keep smiling on your own, when your sad and lonely.

sorry, probably depressed everyone even more now.  i just want my xmas to be the one i've always wanted.

Hopefully next year............

Offline Silky

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Re: First Christmas
« Reply #9 on: December 09, 2007, 11:10:33 PM »
Funny how everyone thinks everyone else is having fun at Christmas and it's just not the case. Thank God it's just for one day, even if the hype all begins in October.

We've got a little routine set up for Christmas and it usually means putting up with the Ex for part of the day but I tend to take solace in the kitchen with the cooking and the sherry while he plays with the kids. Must admit though I'm relieved when it's all over, the kids go to bed and I can put my feet up and breathe a sigh of relief (and have a quick play of their toys when they're not around!)

If I've got to watch yet another repeat of Only Fools and Horses this year I'll scream. ;-)

Silky x
A positive mental attitude may not solve all your problems but it will annoy enough people to make it worth the effort"

Offline loopy lou

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Re: First Christmas
« Reply #10 on: December 10, 2007, 11:36:07 PM »
(((((((((((((((((big hugs everyone)))))))))))))))))))))))))))  its soon going to be over

Offline YummyMummy

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Re: First Christmas
« Reply #11 on: December 12, 2007, 09:19:24 PM »
Lapland sounds fantastic, I'm determined to go before it's too late (I can imagine it's got more impact if the children still believe in Santa). Christmas is much more magical with snow, that's definitely one of the downsides of global warming. I remember gettting the sledge out on a regular basis during the winter holidays, I AM showing my age now. And please don't say it was the Ice Age  :)


Offline justme

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Re: First Christmas
« Reply #12 on: December 16, 2007, 12:27:08 AM »
I'm dreading Xmas, my head feels like its gonna burst at the mo and I haven't the energy to even think of shopping. Counting down for it to be over

Offline Silky

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Re: First Christmas
« Reply #13 on: December 17, 2007, 12:45:54 PM »
Hi Justme,
I know it probably doesn't help much, but you're one of many. Just keep thinking that it's all over in 2 weeks and count each day down one by one.  Is there nothing you can do to treat yourself during the hols just to make it a little more bearable? Chocolates and wine in a long bubble bath? A film you've always wanted to watch but never had the time? A good book?  You don't need to be out partying to have a good time, sometimes a few stolen moments to yourself can be worth their weight in gold.

Silky x
A positive mental attitude may not solve all your problems but it will annoy enough people to make it worth the effort"

Offline maried79

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Re: First Christmas
« Reply #14 on: December 17, 2007, 10:21:11 PM »


Hi all

I'm ANOTHER Marie who is spending her first Christmas as a singleton.

I have done absolutely NO Christmas shopping as yet as I dont get paid until Friday!

Does anyone have any ideas of what I can buy for friends and family? I'm thinking cheap and cheerful yet I want to get them all something different and imaginative! However my head is so screwed up I have no imagination (except when it comes to what I want to do with my ex - it involves a big pair of scissors!ha)

Chocolate Girl

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Re: First Christmas
« Reply #15 on: December 18, 2007, 01:43:03 AM »
Hi Marie

Personally, I always love to give (& receive) a nice book but the prices can be off putting.  Which is why I always buy my books from 'The Book People' a fantastic website with amazing savings & free delivery if you spend over £25.  Easy, because you get lots for your money - from the very youngest child there's something for everyone.

You may already know of them - they sell books periodically in workplaces/offices but only have a small selection at any one time.  That's why the website is so good, excellent value for money & a brilliant selection.

I should be on commission lol!  ;D

Cx

Heidi-boo

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Re: First Christmas
« Reply #16 on: December 19, 2007, 11:14:25 PM »
I use the Book People too and they even let you order close to Xmas. think its probably too late now but worth remembering for next year. I've just posted about The Works, a cheap book shop that has some great stocking fillers AND big pressies for kids, all at reallly cheap prices.

Chocolate Girl

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Re: First Christmas
« Reply #17 on: December 20, 2007, 10:44:13 AM »


"There is still time to order before Christmas using our Next Day Delivery service, which closes at 1pm on Thursday 20th December."

Have just cut & paste this from the Book Peoples Web page - hope it helps Be quick!

Offline loopy lou

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Re: First Christmas
« Reply #18 on: December 22, 2007, 07:43:38 PM »
i'm to late and still have pressies to get. just hoping now that the sales will start on christmas eve or everyone will be getting vouchers

Chocolate Girl

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Re: First Christmas
« Reply #19 on: December 22, 2007, 07:53:03 PM »
Vouchers are good.............. ;D

Offline loopy lou

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Re: First Christmas
« Reply #20 on: December 22, 2007, 08:23:20 PM »
i wish some of my lot would get me vouchers as i never get anything i like and its so hard having to say thanks with a big smile when i know its going straight in the charity bag. i feel really guilty about it but i just don't have space at home and just know i'd never wear most of the things i get.

emsmum

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Re: First Christmas
« Reply #21 on: December 25, 2007, 11:38:44 PM »
This is going to be our first Christmas without my husband and I'm dreading it,

Day's nearly over, hope everyone's survived it alright. Only New Year to get over now then we're back to normal.

emsmum

Offline YummyMummy

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Re: First Christmas
« Reply #22 on: January 02, 2008, 05:36:39 PM »
Well I'm still here. The holidays have been difficult, more than I imagined, but at least they're out of the way now and I can concentrate on making the best of 2008. Hope everyone else is able to look positively towards the New Year

 

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